Sunday, April 10, 2005

It's happening again. This drives me insane. I took an hour off to eat tea and watch Bremner, Bird & Fortune (how else am I supposed to know what's going on in politics? Five seconds of the news and I want to kill myself), and within a minute of coming back up here, Dad wanted to download or update or whatever word he uses now to mean sending emails. On a Sunday night. I asked him a while ago if he gets paid for working weekends. Of course not, he replied. So why do it?

If the answer is 'to annoy Kate' then he should get a bonus. Ever since we got this stupid wireless system it's been one thing after another. It wouldn't work on the other computer, so Rich had to use this one. Then he gets a new computer, and apparently it's the location of it that's the problem. So I move this whole room around, and he says yes, it'll work now. But I'm not going to use it there because I don't want to muck up my expensive new computer with downloads.

Really? Like you did with the old one? Which is why I got this one. Which - guess what - is now the internet computer. Yes, the. As in singular. Because despite asking, understanding, demanding and finally throwing a complete hissy fit and refusing to talk to him for two weeks, he still is using this computer instead of his own. And complaining about it.

Then we have dad, who maintains that as soon as I moved the modem he couldn't get a signal. Work in the conservatory, I said, it's right under this window. Can't get it there. Bring the fucking thing upstairs and put it next to the router. Still nothing, unless he plugs in for an initial connection. Then he can work elsewhere.

And then that fails. So to use the internet, he has to plug in here. And can't understand why I'm so annoyed. After all, I can use my computer at the same time, right? Well, seeing as he can't write an email about optics with someone watching, I don't see how he expects me to write erotica with him sitting there behind me.

God, this makes me so mad. And the worst thing is, I don't know what to do. I don't know what the problem with Dad's laptop is, or if it's a problem with the wireless card, or the LAN, or his server, or what. And since the company's just changed hands, they have bigger things to worry about than the Director of Tech Services being able to contact anyone. Or more to the point, the Director of Tech Services being able to use his arms and legs after his daughter has broken them in pure frustration. I don't know how to fix the problem. I don't know how to get Rich off this fucking computer. I don't know what I can do - because I feel like I've tried everything - to get my own bloody computer, that I bought (when I was broke, I might add) and set up, in my own study that I've tried so hard to make into my own space, back to my fucking self.

But in the end, what I do doesn't make any money, so how can it be important? If I was earning 50k a year, would I still have to put up with this shit?

No, I'd be living somewhere else, in my own house with my own computer, and a big fucking lock on the door so no one else could come in and use it.

Off to look at property websites. If I worked full time I could probably afford the rent on Tasha's old flat, which is smaller than this room, but has a really big lock. Trouble is, last time I worked full time I was too knackered to write anything. Not to mention that I had to wait two hours after I got home to use my computer, because while Dad wasn't connected up, he was sitting up here talking on the phone (the mobile phone, thank you very much) so I couldn't tell him to get the fuck out.

Any ideas?

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