Why Doctor Horrible is the perfect romance hero

First, happy new year. Hope 2011 fulfils its potential for you.

Now, onto Doctor Horrible. If you don't know who he is, (why not??) he's the star of a 2008 web short by Joss Whedon, the genius behind Buffy and Firefly. Doctor Horrible's Sing-along Blog is a 45 minute mini musical about a wannabe supervillain (there just aren't enough musicals about supervillains). While Doctor Horrible is an evil genius, his alter-ego, Billy, is a shy young man who can't even afford his own washing machine. He has to go to the local launderette, which is where he meets Penny and falls in love with her. His rival in both aims is Captain Hammer, a somewhat cheesy superhero beloved of both the population and Penny.

Where it gets interesting for me is here: consider the traditional character structure of a romance novel protagonist. They must have a goal, motivation, and conflict. In other words, what he wants, why he wants it, and what's stopping him from getting it. Now, as I mentioned, Doctor Horrible is a 45 min musical. That's pretty damn short. I've written long books, and I've written short books, and one of the first things I learned switching between the two is that in a short book you just don't have the space to mess around making your GMC complicated or imprecise. Or do you?

With Doctor Horrible, The GMC seems simple. He wants to be a supervillain and join the Evil League of Evil. In his words, "The world is a mess, and I just need to rule it." But what's stopping him? Captain Hammer.

This is what we can call External Conflict. When you start to ask about his motivations, it gets a bit shaky. Doctor Horrible goes on about the world being a mess, about humankind being insane, that "the world's full of filth and lies," but it never seems quite genuine. It seems like an excuse.

And that's because Doctor Horrible isn't who he really is. He's Billy, a shy young man without his own washing machine. And here we discover his real goal, his real motivation, and his real conflict. What he wants is to be somebody, "not a joke, not a dork, not a failure."

He's too shy to even talk to the girl he likes, and even though he wants to be somebody else, someone cooler, more exciting, someone who can right the world's wrongs, he doesn't know how. "Though I swore to eliminate the worst of the plague that devoured humanity, it’s true I was vague on the 'how'." He's not the sort of guy who can become a superhero and be beloved of the people. He doesn't even know how to talk to the people. He's been a dorky loser all his life. The other superheroes would laugh at him. But what about being a supervillain? Oh yeah. Then he'll get the girl, and he can beat that annoyingly handsome and popular Captain Hammer into the bargain.

But what's stopping him from achieving this? That's right, it's Penny. Penny isn't just pretty and sweet, she's a genuinely good person. She volunteers at a local homeless shelter and is proactive in raising money and awareness of her cause. How can a supervillain hope to win the heart of a woman like that? And how can someone who's in love with a charity worker possibly join the Evil League of Evil?

So Doctor Horrible has two goals, but they both cancel each other out. And this is the reason why he's never achieved either of them. But when Captain Hammer steals Penny from under his nose ("I’m gonna give Penny the night of her life, just because you want her. And I get what you want") he decides he's had enough trying to win her the traditional way. He's going to become a supervillain, rule the world, and then "Penny will see the real me, not a joke, not a dork, not a failure. And she may cry, but her tears will dry when I hand her the keys to a shiny new Australia." He redesigns his evil, but not fatal Freeze Ray into a Death Ray. He's had enough of being Billy the failure. It's time to become Doctor Horrible, supervillain and success.

And how does this all resolve? Oh, okay, I'll tell you, but it's spoilerific, so I'll put it below the fold.

So, that was 2010

In a way, I'm glad it's over. Mostly because I never got the hang of typing 2010 and keep making it 1020 instead, which I'm sure you'll agree isn't a year I can talk about with quite as much authority.

This passing year, however, has been pretty cool. I could do a Bridget-Jones style tot-up of all the calories eaten (but I can't count that high) or alcohol units consumed (ditto), boyfriends lost and won (both zero) or miles travelled (oh, who cares?) but in the end I'm just going to do my highlights of the year. Because who cares about calories with highlights like these?

February: Finally published Mad, Bad & Dangerous, AKA The Book That Will Kill Me. It didn't kill me, although it took several potshots, and I've had some pretty good feedback about it considering it's a book about a feckless psychopath and a snarky shapeshifter.

May: The arrival of Jemima! Yes, my sweet, pretty, mercurial, incredibly violent little Jemima. Curls up with a purr one moment, next she's trying to introduce as much of your blood to the outside world as possible. And people ask me where I get the inspiration for my characters from!

July: The RNA conference in Greenwich. Well, where to start? So many wonderful people, both old friends and new acquaintances. An incredibly beautiful setting. Those shoes. Lots of wine (see above re: alcohol units). Meeting with my future publisher. Which brings me to...

September: Choc Lit make an offer on The Untied Kingdom. Regular readers will know how much I go on about how much I love this book and it's all true, I adore it and I'm so happy Choc Lit want to publish it.

December: The Untied Kingdom cover. Yes, it counts as two separate things. I love it that much.

Of course, I haven't included: RNA parties and lunches, the Latitude Festival, Crowded House & Florence + the Machine gigs, visiting the BBC, the new Doctor Who, Sherlock, hospitality at Wimbledon, an EPIC nomination, my new Kindle, so many fabulous new books I couldn't possibly enumerate them all... because then I'd be here forever!

So, how's it been for you?

The Demon Puppy and Auntie

So, what did you do yesterday? I took Pepper the Demon Puppy to Broadcasting House in London, that's what I did.

Me and Pepper at BBC reception. I don't know why I look so grumpy there, I was actually feeling quite cheerful! Just one of those faces I suppose...

And why, you ask? To audition for a new BBC3 show about badly behaved dogs. Being that Pepper barks incessantly, steals food, leaps on furniture, bullies the cats and thinks that hurling herself at someone, barking at the top of her voice (and that's a pretty big voice to get to the top of) and trying hard to shove them over is an appropriate way to greet both strangers and friends--well I thought she might qualify.

And despite me being kind enough not to take her on the train but get my dad to drive us down there, what did she do for me? Behaved beautifully, that's what. No barking. Not even a whimper. Jumped once, in a pathetic, girlie, please-like-me kind of way. Didn't even pee on the carpet.

Little traitor.

So, about that Spartacus

Yesterday I posted a picture of three lovely young men from the TV series Spartacus: Blood & Sand. And I'm so very glad you all enjoyed looking at them. I enjoyed looking at them too, on screen, sometimes wearing even less than in the pictures.

But it got me thinking. What was it, apart from the muscular naked men and the cartoon violence that kept me watching all series? (Yes, there is an answer) Well, the series did follow one valuable writing lesson that sometimes I forget:

Every character thinks he's the hero.

Put simply, nobody thinks he's an extra. Everybody has their own agenda, their own motivations, their own goals. Goals that shift and change with new circumstances. And it's these goals striking and sparking off each other that make for really interesting conflict--and not just the kind with sword and shield.

Spartacus, for example. To begin with his goal is to repel invaders and keep his people safe. Then, after he's forced into captivity, his people killed and his wife taken from him, his goal is to regain his freedom and find his wife. After the death of his wife, his goal is simple: to find out who killed his wife and get his revenge. When he discovers who was behind her death, and that there's no simple way to kill him and escape, he becomes the Spartacus we all know from legend: the man who slaughtered his masters and led a slave rebellion. And all of that comes from a few simple, primal, personal goals.

But what about the other characters? Why has Spartacus been taken captive and why has his wife been killed? Why does it become more difficult for him to simply slaughter his way out of the ludus and not care if all the other slaves are killed (which they would be, if any one slave harmed his master)? Spartacus probably has the most simple of goals and motivations, but it's complicated by the friends and enemies he makes.

It would take far more than one blog post to explain the various schemes and entanglements in the series, and it took more than one watching of each episode to understand them, probably because I got distracted by all the muscular naked men. But when you have a ludus full of gladiators, all planning or hoping for freedom but all subject to the whims of their master ad his friends; slaves who are planning their own schemes for freedom or at least a little cash; levels of Roman society all jostling for power and position and not really caring whose throat they have to cut to get it--then you have a lot of entanglements.

But while the series is called Spartacus, probably every character in the series thinks it ought to be named after them. For the amount of plotting John Hannah's character, Batiatus, does (did I mention John Hannah is in it?) he probably reckons there's going to be a TV show in 2,000 years called Batiatus. His wife, who wants her husband to be rich and powerful (and is possibly the only character to really include someone else in her aims) but also to have her bit on the side, probably thinks the show is called Lucretia. Neither of them consider Spartacus to be much more than a cash cow. Why should he have a series named after him?

Well, for one thing, that boy looks good naked.

The End Of Time

So that's it then. Farewell David Tennant.

I'm ludicrously sad about his leaving Doctor Who. It's a kid's TV show, and I was too sad to speak through the whole episode. Ludicrous, but true.

Also, I really fancy John Simm as the Master.

Guest blogging at Selena Illyria's place

Today I'm guest blogging at my friend and fellow Changeling author Selena Illyria's place. Se's my friend because we both love Buffy and Doctor Who and Being Human. So it makes perfect sense that she's hosting an Urban Fantasy week on her blog. Go check it out!

On sequels and vampire biology

Buffy's back!

Or is she? Well, probably not. Ever since Buffy the Vampire Slayer went off the air in 2003 (an event I recorded on video and refused to let anybody tell me about until I'd watched it, whereupon I wandered around in shock going, "But how could they??") rumours of a comeback have abounded. A Spike spin-off. A Giles spin-off. A Dawn spin-off (youch). A Faith spin-off. In fact, name a character, and a spin-off has been mooted. Everyone apart from Angel, who of course got his own spin-off, which was cancelled a year after Buffy ended. Rumours of a comeback usually fall in the Salt, Pinch Of category.

Today brings, as do so many other days, news of a possible Buffy movie. Forgetting, of course, that there already was one in 1992, from which the series eventually came. The news report I read today had an interesting twist, however: that Buffy could return as a 'vengeful mother'. Seeking revenge on who, I wonder?

A more interesting question is this. Who's the father? At the end of the BTVS series, Buffy was still undecided between two beaux (a wise decision by the writers, since both had huge followings and a final rejection of either Spike or Angel might have led to violence at fan conventions). However, both her men were vampires, and according to the lore of the Buffyverse, vampires are technically dead: they have no body heat, no bloodflow, and therefore are as capable of fathering a child as a corpse.

However--again--in Angel the series, Angel does manage to father a child with a fellow vampire. How? I'm not sure, and I don't think Angel was either. Magic was suggested (that's the great thing about paranormals: when all else fails, it's explained by magic).

So, maybe, Buffy could have had a baby by either Spike or Angel. After all, in the final few episodes of the series, she had a passionate on-screen kiss with Angel, but also shared a bed (platonically? We have no idea) with Spike. Then Spike got turned to dust, reanimated as a ghost haunting Angel's office, and Buffy relocated to Rome with her little sister. A great place to hide away! Spike and Angel did try to track her down in Italy, but failed.

But as I mentioned above, picking either one of Buffy's favourite vampires to be the father of her child would be a bad idea. And, of course, being the brainchild of Joss Whedon, whoever actually was the father would probably have to die a horrible death in order to be avenged, and I'm not sure either Angel or Spike could stand to be killed--again. Buffy's had other beaux, of course, some of them even human. My money would be on a liaison in Rome, possibly even a marriage, that ended tragically.

The big question, however, is this. Is all this conjecture a bit, well, useless? Should sleeping characters be left to lie? Buffy et al have been so comprehensively written about, blogged about, fanficced and mythologised that Buffy and her friends have already had a million futures mapped out for them. Do we ever need a sequel? Isn't it enough that Buffy ended her screen life happily, with grace and dignity?

Should we ever bring back characters after their happily-ever-after?

Who am I kidding. The really big question is this: Since actors age and vampires don't, could either David Boreanaz or James Marsters ever feature in a Buffy screen future? And would either of them, perchance, be shirtless?

(fan images from fanpop.com)

Too many mutha uckas

(Okay, I need to stop watching Flight of the Conchords)

Email problems sorted! Some bottom-feeding hacker changed my account to forward all my emails to him. Well, I hope he enjoyed all the special offers from Grattan catalogue, romance novel promotions, and Facebook comments on pictures of my friend's baby.

It's weird, because I'm just finishing After The Fall, and it involves an encrypted file that has to be hacked into.

Empire: After The Fall

So, I've finally figured out the ending of my current WIP. It even has a title! Empire: After The Fall. Hopefully, Empire will become a series for Changeling (although I've planned series before, and after the first book has completely failed to sell, the rest have been cancelled, dammit).

Empire is my post-apocalyptic near future cyberpunk drowned world. The premise is, er, well post-apocalyptic near future cyberpunk drowned world. Okay, okay. The ice caps have melted, and half the world is underwater. Most of the most important cities, built by the sea or on rivers, have disappeared. Treaties, alliances and unions broke down. Nations crumbled. Humans died in their millions. This is referred to, obliquely, as the Fall. It happened a while ago. I don't know when.

(image borrowed from Dragon Cave RP)

Out of the wreckage emerged one superpower. It's known simply as the Empire, and it controls everything. It knows everything. It controls everyone though fingerprint and retinal scans (variable to suit species. Since the world's human population has vastly diminished, it's populated heavily by vampires, werefolk, fae, and various other beasties). Every bit of technology is scanned and recorded.

There have been wars and revolutions against the Empire, but none of them have been successful. Yet.

I'm trying to write a blurb and a cover art request. It's not easy, since the blurb will require some of the above information, vastly condensed, and also some of the incredibly complicated set-up between my tiger-shifter heroine and vampire mercenary hero. Or anti-hero. Or something. See?

Currently, I'm being aided in this by my Empire playlist. It includes: Kasabian: Empire (naturally); Vast: Touched; Coldplay: Viva La Vida; Jamiroquai: King For A Day; Rufus Wainwright: Hallelujah (do NOT get me started on whatserface from X Factor); Robyn: With Every Heartbeat; and if I can get iTunes to play along, Take That: Greatest Day. I'd also have the music from C4's The Devil's Whore on there, especially the piano piece, if it was actually available as a music track. Eclectic? You have no idea. Imagine what a mess the story is right now!

(Incidentally, why is it that Mozilla flags Kasabian as not being a properly spelled word, but has no problem with Jamiroquai?)

So, what do you listen to when writing? Or can't you bear to listen to anything? Often, unless it's one particular song strongly soundtracking a particular scene, I don't listen to anything. This is more like mood music.

And yes, I am mildly obsessed with The Devil's Whore right now. The DVD is on my birthday list. And no, my birthday isn't for months. My hero, Carver, has more than a touch of Edward Sexby about him. Apparently, both John Simm and the production team wanted to deliberately make Sexby unsexy, especially considering his name. Hence the scar and the hair and the many references to enjoying cutting people's throats. Unfortunately, they failed. Miserably.

Image from Channel 4)

PS: Still no Yahoo mail. Useless bastards.

Richard Armitage makes a great Spook

He did actually appear shirtless in one scene. And boy has he been working out. I went a bit fuzzy watching that bit.

I'd post a picture, but it might melt the Interweb.

Plus, I can't find any.

What I'd do if I swapped places with Tess

I've been watching Lost in Austen, which for those of you who either don't get ITV or don't get Austen (you're probably male), is about a modern woman who finds herself swapping places with Elizabeth Bennet and getting stuck in the middle of Pride and Prejudice. And it got me thinking. The girl playing Lizzie (who we didn't see much of in the first ep: I'd really like to see how she gets on in modern Hammersmith) is Gemma Arterton, who is also playing Tess of the d'Urbervilles in a new TV adaptation this autumn. So, naturally my brain goes, "What if a modern woman swapped places with Tess? What if I did?"

Oh, the worlds of fun (and not, for once, a rant about Tess The TSTL Doormat). For a start, pious, naive Tess would last about thirty seconds in a modern world. And me? Well, I'd pick the rich, tasty and exciting Alec d'Urberville--a man who makes it clear he wants Tess to be his mistress and showers her family with gifts and money on more than one occasion. He takes care of her financially, and is never less than honest in his intentions (even if the intentions themselves are less than pure). I'd shoot Angel Clare, who is the very worst example of a romantic hero I can think of (marry a girl, confess you had an affair before marriage, then when she confesses the same thing, tell her she's too wicked for you to live with, and bugger off, leaving her penniless and alone? Ooh, baby, come closer....so I can punch you in your smug, hypocritical face).

Which novels would you like to be dropped into? Which ones would you fix? And which ones could you happily ride out to the end, knowing you'd make the same choices as the heroine?

Dr. Horrible is over

I'm sad because Dr. Horrible is over. Like a really good book I read too fast, it's ended too soon.

Although now, I want to write about superheroes.

My shoes

Since so much has been asked about them--I thought I'd post a picture of the cream and black brogues that got so much attention on Saturday at the conference. Although for some reason Blogger has decided to post the picture sideways. Picture me confused.

I was going to post something much more witty and insightful about the conference, but I'm a bit floopy this morning having handed over a large wodge of cash to my dentist to drill and fill a tooth. Consequently, the right side of my mouth, jaw and lip, are kind of numb and earlier I found myself chewing my own cheek instead of some cheese. I thought I'd cheer myself up by watching Scrubs and Greek, which should have been recording last night, but Sky+ has no memory of either of them. This is very annoying, since I can't find a repeats--not for Greek which was the repeat episode (tennis having taken precedence on Sunday), or Scrubs, which is on E4 where of course there's no room for anything, what with Big Brother chomping great putrid holes in the schedule.

Anyway. When I'm less grumpy I'll write some more about the conference, or at least about Crowded House at Thetford (the cause of my TV schedule interruption) last night!

This week's news round-up

Well, I've been working on finishing (rather late, sorry sorry nice editor!) the next Sundown book for Changeling. It's about a werecat on heat and a swordfighting werewolf who looks like Richard Armitage. Because yes, the flame of my crush still burns brightly. Have a picture.


Also in the crush category is the original and best James Marsters, who appeared as a guest star on Torchwood on Wednesday. Now, I wasn't entirely sure how much I loved Torchwood when it started, last year. Maybe it's John Barrowman, who is certainly very handsome but looks a little like a Ken doll. Or maybe it's that this sexy, smart, alien-battling outfit is based in Cardiff, where nothing has ever or will ever happen (sorry, all those who live in Cardiff, I'm sure it's fab, but you've got to admit basing Torchwood there is just weird). But I suppose the whole point of Torchwood is weird. And mad. And sexy. And dangerous.

So, having JM turn up as Captain Jack's former partner 'in every way', worked fine for me. Especially since he established his sexy psychopath credentials in the first ten minutes by, in chronological order, intervening in a fight and throwing the aggressor off a building; evicting all the ugly people from a bar and then threatening them with guns; snogging Captain Jack then beating the crap out of him; then downing half a bottle of neat vodka and admitting he'd just come out of rehab for drugs, alcohol, sex and murder.

And I really like his jacket, too.

Also on Wednesday I got offered an interview for a weekend job at Wood Green Animal Shelters in Heydon. I've had a soft spot for Wood Green ever since the very nice lady there matched us up with Honey, who was the Perfect Dog (at least in restrospect, when compared to the Demon Puppy). Heydon is the smaller of their two sites and deals mostly with cats and small animals. Cats, people. And they pay people to do this?

Ask for the butter

HARRIET
I got a laugh at the table read when I asked for the butter in the dinner sketch. I didn't get it at the dress. What did I do wrong?

MATT
You asked for the laugh.

HARRIET
What did I do at the table reading?

MATT
You asked for the butter.

Seeing as the Matt in this scene from Studio 60 on the Sunset Strip is being played by Matthew Perry, best known for a sitcom that degenerated into asking from the laugh shortly after the credits rolled, this is doubly brilliant to me.

Jennifer Crusie wrote a while back about setting up in jokes (it was on her site, but I think she took some of her essays down because she was putting them in a book). She's absolutely right--"I want to open the West," isn't funny unless you've read What The Lady Wants--and it's something I strive to do.

But, as always, I'm learning. I think asking for the laugh is something to be wary of.

A hundred and seventy-six days

Hundred and seventy-five, today.


That is, until the Christmas episode of Doctor Who. Because the current series has just ended: waah! Although, it has provided me with a new soundtrack to a book I'm supposed to be writing, the Scissor Sisters' I Can't Decide, which fits pretty well for Bael, the hero of the sequel to Almost Human. "I can't decide whether you should live or die...Oh, you'll probably go to heaven, please don't hang your head and cry." Brilliant!

Although I will forevermore have this image of John Simm dancing round the bridge of his spaceship with his moll and his prisoner. A charming, enthusiastic psychopath, my favourite knd of villain.




Normal service will return soon. Well, probably. Busy week while I try to finish the next Sundown book, work on the galleys for the first two Sophie print books, and pack for the RNA conference at the weekend. I'll try to pop by!

The angels have the phone box

"I've got that on a t-shirt." Actually, I do have it on a t-shirt, or at least I will when my order comes through.

This post ought to be subtitled Why I Love Doctor Who, or even just Blink, because that's the episode I'm talking about. Dunno what I mean? You missed a treat.

Blink was a 'Doctor-lite' episode, by which I mean there wasn't much of the gorgeous David Tennant in it. What we did get was pure gold, however.

"This is my timey-wimey detector. Goes 'ding' when there's stuff. Also, it can boil an egg at 300 yards. Whether you want it to or not, actually. I've learned to avoid hens. It's not pretty when they blow."

In a spooky house in London, Sally Sparrow finds a cryptic message left by the Doctor in 1969...addressed to her. Investigating with her best friend Kathy, she then recieves a letter, Marty McFly style, that's been waiting to be delivered to her for twenty years. From Kathy. Who has just vanished...and apparently turned up in 1920. In Hull, for some reason.

"Sparrow and Nightingale, that so works!" "For ITV."

More than a little freaked out, Sally goes to the police, where she meets the rather gorgeous and cheeky DI Shipton, who asks her out...but then he vanishes too. He reappears in 1969. Where the Doctor gives him a message to take to Sally, when he's an old man.

"Life is short and you are hot."

Billy duly passes on the message, which tells Sally to check the 'easter egg' features on her DVDs. These have been planted by the Doctor, and they're there to warn her about the Weeping Angels, which come to life only when you're not looking at them. It's like Toy Story, in reverse...and hella scary. Because the Weeping Angels will kill you, in the Doctor's words, by sending you back in time and letting you live to death.

"Don't blink. Don't even blink. Blink and you are dead. Good luck."

I won't spoil the ending, but suffice to say it's the first Doctor episode that's actually had me properly scared. I sure as hell won't be going near any graveyards soon!

I'll just leave you with the Doctor's wise words on the subject of Time: "From a non-linear, non-subjective point of view, it's a sort of big ball of wibbly wobbly...timey-wimey...stuff."

Thursday Thirteen: Whedonverse quotes I love

Thirteen Whedonverse quotes I love 1. Buffy: Honey, we need to talk about the invitations. Now, do you want to be 'William the Bloody' or just 'Spike,' because either way it's gonna look majorly weird. Spike: Whereas the name 'Buffy' gives it that touch of classic elegance. Buffy: What's wrong with 'Buffy'? Giles: Ah, such a good question. BTVS, Something Blue. Okay, it was really hard to just pick one from Something Blue, because it's one of the funniest things I have ever seen on TV. It was either this, or the scene with Riley ("I don't think 'no' is a strong enough word"). 2. Spike: We...we kissed, you and me. All Gone With The Wind, with the rising music, and the rising...music, and what was that, Buffy? BTVS: Tabula Rasa. Yeah, it wasn’t just the music rising. 3. Spike (to Buffy and Angel): You're not friends. You'll never be friends. You'll be in love till it kills you both. You'll fight, and you'll shag, and you'll hate each other till it makes you quiver, but you'll never be friends. Love isn't brains, children, it's blood, blood screaming inside you to work its will. BTVS, Lover’s Walk. Spike has some of the best lines, I swear they’re like poetry sometimes. He’s particularly eloquent about love. 4. Wesley: “I’m a rogue demon hunter now.” Cordy: “Oh, wow. What’s a rogue demon?” Angel, Parting Gifts. Cordy, a blonde in hiding. Wesley, a geek in biking leathers. 5. Spike (sings): The torch I bear is scorching me Buffy's laughing, I've no doubt I hope she fries I'm free if that bitch dies! I’d better help her out. BTVS, Once More With Feeling. Spike, who belives that denial is just a river in Egypt. 6. Spike: Hey, look at me. I’m not asking you for anything. When I say I love you, it’s not because I want you, or because I can’t have you. It has nothing to do with me. I love what you are, what you do, how you try. I’ve seen your kindness and your strength. I’ve seen the best and the worst of you and I understand with perfect clarity exactly what you are. You are a hell of a woman. You’re the one, Buffy. Buffy: I don’t want to be the one. Spike: I don’t want to be this good-looking and athletic. We all have crosses to bear. BTVS, Touched. Yes, I know I’m putting a lot of Spike in here, but he does have the best lines. Isn’t that just beautiful? Wouldn’t you love to have someone say that to you? And then turn on a dime and break the tension with a joke? 7. Mal: Zoe, ship is yours. Remember. If anything happens to me... or if you don't hear from me within the hour... you take this ship and you come and you rescue me. Zoe: What? Risk my ship? Serenity. Mal. You know, he tries to be bitter and brooding, but it just doesn’t work very well. 8. River: She understands. She doesn’t comprehend. Firefly, Objects in Space. A little like me, when I was doing Philosophy A level. 9. Pike: I can keep talking until you strike me dead. Or not. I prefer not. BTVS the movie. Come on, it had some great lines. And Luke Perry. 10. Mal: Yes, I’ve read a poem. Try not to faint. Serenity. This is off Inara’s incredulous look when Mal references the albatross from the Ancient Mariner. 11. Kaylee: Been more’n a year I had anything twixt my nethers didn’t run on batteries. Mal: I don’t need to hear that! Jayne: I could stand to hear a little more. Serenity. Jayne: I wanted to quote more of his lines, but the reason most of them are so great is because of the way Adam Baldwin says them. Love seeing this guy, who usually plays straight-faced military types, as a dirty mercenary. 12. Jayne: The hero of Canton, the man they call…me Firefly, Jaynestown. This is Jayne drunkenly singing a ballad written about him in a town where he’s considered a hero (because he accidentally ‘donated’ a lot of money to the townspeople when he’d intended to steal it). Adam Baldwin, fantastic. 13. Buffy (to Spike, about Angel): You know, one of these days I’m just going to put you two in a room and let you wrestle it out. Spike: No problem at this end. Buffy: There could be oil of some kind. BTVS, Chosen. Angel plus Spike, minus shirts, plus oil equals mmmmm. Only thirteen, I hear you cry? Well, obviously there are dozens more. Most of the things Xander and Wash say, for starters, and a good few of Lorne's lines too. So, tell me: what are your favourites?

The purpose of the meme is to get to know everyone who participates a little bit better every Thursday. Visiting fellow Thirteeners is encouraged! If you participate, leave the link to your Thirteen in others comments. It’s easy, and fun! Be sure to update your Thirteen with links that are left for you, as well! I will link to everyone who participates and leaves a link to their 13 things. Trackbacks, pings, comment links accepted!

Thursday Thirteen: things that make me happy

Thirteen things making me happy today (Yes, I know, unusually cheerful for a cranky cow like me. But everything else I thought of was miserable, and Amelia has already baggsed Thirteen Mandarin Insults) 1. Watching my cats behave like kittens. Especially Spike, when he gets that cheeky look in his eye, then attacks his catnip ball and rolls around on the floor wrestling with it. 2. The new series of Doctor Who. David Tennant rocketing around the universe being cheerfully insane, how can that not make you smile? 3. That, and I'm going to quote directly from Caitlin Moran here, "a show about a 900-year-old pacifist with a magic screwdriver, whose biggest enemy is a set of giant, fatal pepperpots...a children's sci-fi show, made on what amounts to a minuscule budget, in Wales, by gays, should be one of the defining programmes of the 21st century, is just the kind of thing that makes Britain great." It's completely bonkers. I love it! 4. It's sunny. I know, it's cheating. So what? 5. A week tomorrow we're going to pick up Pepper! (and put the puppy properly in her pen). 6. Helping my brother fix his phone and being called a genius for it. 7. Then, five seconds later, having to go up and down the stairs twice because I'd forgotten this list. And then the paper for the Caitlin Moran quote. I like being stupid. I have no idea why. 8. The new cover for Ugley Business which I got sent this morning. I'm not sure if it's final and approved yet, but the second it is I shall be plastering it everywhere because it's gorgeous. And it's purple! 9. Thinking up ways to screw eighteen generations of PayPal's ancestors (I'm modifying one of Amelia's Mandarin insults here) for refusing to recognise that someone defrauded my account to the tune of £1,200. There will be pain. Lots of pain. 10. The red, suede-trimmed, be-ribboned ballet slippers I bought yesterday. For four pounds. 11. Print release dates for the first three Sophie books. Like the cover, they're not definite yet, but I'm happy to have them. 12. That I've managed to think of 12 other reasons to be cheerful. And that I'm cheating now. I do like to cheat a little every now and then. 13. That I've finished the book I was on deadline for; done the edits I had to have finished by yesterday; and got my Stroke of Midnight contest entries back on time and am, therefore, unburdened by deadlines for the present moment!

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The purpose of the meme is to get to know everyone who participates a little bit better every Thursday. Visiting fellow Thirteeners is encouraged! If you participate, leave the link to your Thirteen in others comments. It’s easy, and fun! Be sure to update your Thirteen with links that are left for you, as well! I will link to everyone who participates and leaves a link to their 13 things. Trackbacks, pings, comment links accepted!

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The Doctor is back!

I've missed him! Okay, we know I have a massive crush on David Tennant. I'm so happy to report he'll be back on my TV (and yours, if you get BBC One) next Saturday.

Have no idea what I'm talking about? Clicky here for trailers and associated gubbins. The site has sound, but you can click it off at the bottom right of the picture.

Incidentally, The Doctor was my most gigantic inspiration for Finn of Duty and the Beast. After months of trying to persuade internet friends that David Tennant is 100% adorable and failing, I realised that it's because all I can do online is send pictures (I don't know why, but even after three modems and two computers on broadband, I have the worst trouble streaming video files). And in pictures, it's hard for David's charisma to shine through. On film though... Krisma city. With a kicking K.

Hey look, I have a crush on someone because of his personality, not his looks. Does this mean I'm growing up?