Oldness

So I get a letter this morning from the gov't about my pension. Thought it might have been mis-labeled and meant for my dad, who has been sorting out his own in recent months. Nope, it was for me, the youngest member of the house, 37 years away from collecting a pension. Basically to tell me that by the time I'm old enough to collect anything, I'll be getting £82 a week (at today's prices). Wow. That's actually less than I was earning at Blockbuster, who paid me minimum wage. The nice government people were letting me know this, and recommending that I either work harder, or buy a private pension plan, because basically they can't afford to support me in my old age.

Okay, so I haven't worked full time since I left school. In fact in those five years I've only worked full time for about four or five months, all told, and part time for maybe two years more. BUT in the periods between employment I've hardly been scrounging (except off my parents, and that doesn't count). Don't you think it's actually pretty good of me to work full time at my writing, and not get paid? I haven't claimed a penny in unemployment. Last year I gave the government two hundred extra pounds in tax, and it was only after prolonged campaigning (which you can read all about in my archives if you've really nothing better to do) that I got it back.

So why are they telling me they're going to give me an allowance that's less than a person can live on? What did I ever do to them?

I'm in a really grumpy mood today. It's one of those days where nothing's really going right - from the Morris Men skiving off after three dances, to the sun turning into rain, to Yahoo and my phone between them screwing up my remote mail access, to the RWA and the erotica chapter going at loggerheads (I can't even be bothered to read the messages on the group any more, there's so much righteous indignation there that I can't even see if anything useful is happening) to Google ads counting all my clicks and giving me nothing for them, to this dear blog being inexplicable in its crappiness. I'm feeling shat upon, and ignored to boot.

Example? Bet you no one even reads this.

I'm having a Dougal moment. A Marvin episode. Bah humbug to you all.

Stupid template

I'm not sure why the blog is looking so silly today (huuuge font on the sidebar, ads stuck in the middle of the page). I changed the colour of the post footer (the bit that reads 'posted by etaknosnhoj'), and that's all. Oh, and there's a little green line next to the blog title I'm sure wasn't there before. Not my doing!

Sigh. Je comprends le Français plus bien du HTML.

And my feet hurt because it got insanely hot for the two or three hours I was walking about Cambridge in my cowboy boots.

And it's raining now.

Bah.

Aphrodite Unlaced

They don't want it. Although it's beautifully written, blah blah, it's a vampire story and they don't want those. Or werewolves either, just to give me a headsup. Or maybe because I had a werewolf secondary character.

Please send us anything else you have, we don't mind what length. Great, - except I don't have anything else. Except the one that EC requested, and it seems kinda rude to submit that to someone else when they've actually asked for it.

Bah. Bad start to the morning.

Aphrodite Unlaced

For some reason I keep wanting to say Unleashed instead. I'm weird. These are the guys who just bought Amy's story.

Got an email back (sixteen and a half hours. Not bad) to say that they're trying to steer clear of vampires for now - ironic, since I don't usually write them - but she liked the story. She said nice things about it being stylish and riveting :D She's gonna talk to her colleagues about it, but if they do take it I'll have to add to it. Hey, adding not a problem. Cutting is what I hate. More sex, more dialogue, more exposition - not a problem.

We'll see what comes of that.

Ellora's Cave

Finally the contest packet arrived! Raelene's comments were quite brief, but very complimentary! I've just brushed up the synopsis and ms and sent them off. Argh!

Yay Amy!

My friend and crit partner, Amy has finally sold! She submitted Three Wishes, an erotic romance novella, to Aphrodite Unlaced, a new e-publisher, on Tuesday night. By the time she came home on Wednesday, there was an offer sitting there in her inbox. Sold!

I came home last night (after one of those beauty parties where they slather expensive cream all over your face and then try to flog it to you. It was at Rauha's house, and she's the only person I know who drinks more than we do in this house. So I'd had wine, lots of wine) to many frantic IMs of the KAAAATE!!! I'M A FUCKING PUBLISHED AUTHOR variety. And then after she'd told me the whole story (seeing as how it was sixteen hours from submitting to accepting, it didn't take long) she forced, forced I tell you, me to submit to them too. A couple of months ago I wrote an 11k short about an Egyptian vampire in the present day, and the guy who'd been trying to protect her when she was alive, coming back to help her again. I think it had too much plot for such a short story, but the bits that aren't plot are sex. So, we'll see how it goes.

However, I did manage to send the submission email without attaching the story. I am so stupid. Hopefully the ed. in question will see this as amusing and not incompetant. I can be both - I'm very flexible.

It was sent at midnight last night, so if I haven't heard in three and a half hours, I've missed her record. Can you bear the suspense?

Stupid mail

Still haven't got my FabFive packet back - which I need before I can do any final edits on the requested ms. Apparently the ed. made several comments on it, and I just know that if I send it off without reading them, she'll have mentioned something vital that I have/haven't done all over the story. Also, I think the packet includes instructions on what/where to send.

The plaque came last Monday (ie, a week after the placements were announced, about right for airmail from the US). I know yesterday was a bank holiday, but really it ought to have come by now. Unless it hasn't been sent yet.

Sigh. I need to email the coordinator, but I can't currently think of a way to say, "Where's my goddamned packet?" without sounding rude. I have the feeling that even a polite, "Could you tell me if you've mailed it yet?" might sound rude, given that she really ought to have bloody sent it by now.

Mostly this is annoying me because I don't really have anything to do. Or rather, I do - but I don't want to get myself heavily involved in another story until I've put this one to bed. Bad analogy, seeing as how it's erotica, but you know. I need to get cracking on my Temptwip, wo I can get at least a first draft of it done and sent to the RNA critique thing, which needs to be done before September. That sounds like a long way away, but when you consider that I'm away for about half of the summer, and have rather a lot of things to organise in the meantime, it's a very short few months. If I'm going to try and get myself into the frame of mind to write 60k in a few weeks (which, right now, I'm not), I don't need to get interrupted again by stopping to make edits on this other story.

Editing is hard enough when you're in the right frame of mind. As is writing. Trying to swap between two very different genres (paranormal erotica and flirty short contemporary) when I'm on a deadline is not going to make for anything anyone will want to read. Which is sort of the point of it.

The Lady Soldier

You are kindly invited to the blog party

to celebrate the official launch of

The Lady Soldier by Jennifer Lindsay

at http://theladysoldier.blogspot.com

Tues 31st May thru to Wed 1st June 2005

please spread the word

First book published by someone I actually knew (I'm talking online acquaintance) while she was still submitting left, right and centre. Check out Kate Allan's blog - link down on the left. Yes, there are a lot of Kates around in this business. I've really got to get a pseudonym. Looks like a good book too (no, I'm not being kind - it actually does). A Napoleonic War-set story about a woman who disguises herself as a soldier to follow her sweetheart. Plenty of historical detail for those of us who've read too many Sharpe books (but they let me daydream about Sean Bean, I was helpless against it...)

Nick has kindly agreed to escort me to the launch party in Mayfair, because I really hate going places on my own - especially when I don't physically know anyone there. Should be good.

Off to watch DVDs with Alysia today. Do we know how to enjoy a bank holiday, or what?

Satanism

Okay, not really, but why DO I have all these inspirational and Christian ads on my page? Where did my nice book group ads go to? I have nothing against Christian people. My country is owned by one. I just figure if Google/the advertisers/me are trying to get revenue from this, some more appropriate ads might be in order. I write sexy books and fantasy books, people. It's not really in the same ball park as Daily Devotions, now, is it?

Over the rejection. Now have somehow managed to get myself involved in the Bling Thing again. For those new readers who don't know (both of you), Blingmeister is a really, really awful record produced by my friend Nick and two mates of his while on holiday in Gambia. I think they must have been malnourished and certainly living on 'special' mushrooms when they wrote it, but anyway. It's freely acknowledged as being dreadful, so I'm not dissing the Blingcrew with this. In fact, I may be right in saying that its entire purpose is to be really, really bad.

Terry Wogan apparently likes it. Yeah, it's that bad.

Anyway, I got talked into filming a video for it last year. It involved wandering around Shepherd's Bush in a very tight pink dress, pretending that a guy with a beard in a pink shellsuit (the guy, not the beard) was really sexy. Go figure. Now Nick wants to do a live version (aaargh!) and somehow I've ended up doing this thing live on stage. In Saffron Walden. Which is ten miles from here and four miles fromthe school I (and Nick, and most of the Blingcrew) went to for, oh, seven years.

I must be insane. Truly. Maybe it's this cold. It's making me delirious...

Blah

Another day, another rejection. Long time coming - I subbed the partial to Tor in October of last year and eleven days later (that's including international postage time) got a request for the full - my first ever. Took a while but she finally rejected it. Oh well. I really love this story and the characters, but I've always known it's going to be hard to sell. It won't fly with a romance publisher because of the torn-between-two-lovers thing. It's too... I don't know, soft I guess, for a regular fantasy line, and too modern too. The characters swear and use modern parlance, which I've often been told is inappropriate for fantasy. Ummm. Look at the word there. Fantasy. Doesn't that kinda mean they can speak how I freaking well want them to?

Anyway. The ed in question was really nice about it (and she never once told me off for my use of language) and said she enjoyed reading it. but she still ain't gonna publish it.

Added to which, my throat feels like it's been sandpapered. Gimme chocolate. Coated in honey. Mmmm.

Erotic Romance Writers of America

Clicky above if you're interested in forming an Erotica chapter for the RWA. The RWA has several special-interest chapters (inspirational romance, romantic suspense, etc) but so far no erotica. It will (most likely) be purely romantic erotica - ie there must be a romance plot and a happy ending. For examples see Ellora's Cave.

And, as always, thank you for visiting my sponsors. Each click brings me closer to fiscal solvency...

Wheeeeeeeee!!

Lookeee!



And here in pride of place on my Wall:

Ads

Yes there are banner ads on my blog now. (although why they currently all seem to be for Christian groups and depression therapy I have no idea. Is that how my blog is interpreted? 'I'm depressed, gimme religion?')

Why I have ads is this. If you click on them and look at the sites, Google gives me money. No, really. They are usually relevant (I had a load for book groups and writers sites a while ago). Therefore, as I'm impoverished and it doesn't cost you anything, please take a moment to visit my sponsor!

(I kinda always wanted to say that).

Now, as the ads seem to be content related, here are a few words to get back on track. Writing. Books. Nekkid Spike.

That is all.