Enough about me. Let's talk about me. Whaddya think about me?

Put your iPod (or in my case, a horrifically dreadful selection of songs stored on my computer) on random and use the song titles to answer these questions. It's like being 17 again!

1. How does the world see you? Phantom of the Opera--Think of Me.
Well, they think of me. That's nice.

2. Will I have a happy life? Angel Eyes--Abba
Um. That's not a very happy song, is it?

3. What do my friends think of me? El Tango de Roxanne--Moulin Rouge
Riiight.

4. Do people secretly lust after me? Make Up My Heart--Starlight Express
My God, I have naff taste in music.

5. How can I make myself happy? Heal The Pain--George Michael
So fairly obvious then. Except: what pain? Am I in pain?

6. What should I do with my life? Your Song--Alessandro Safina (again, Moulin Rouge. We can safely substitute Elton John, I think)
I should sit on the roof and kick off the moss? Or--ooh, I know! My gift is my song! Except it's not. Um. Be hopelessly romantic, is my best guess.

7. Will I ever have children? On My Own--Les Mis
Ha!

8. What is some good advice for me? Try--Nelly Furtado
Ha, ha!

9. How will I be remembered? My Culture--Maxxi Jazz (I may have got the x's and z's wrong there) & Robbie Williams
Ooh, I'm culture.

10. What’s my signature dancing song? How You Remind Me--Nickelback
Well, okay. I've never danced to this (more of a gentle mosh, I think).

11. What’s my current theme song? Hungry Eyes (Dirty Dancing, dunno the artist)
It's more like a hungry stomach, really. Eyes bigger than my belly? I wish.

12. What do others think is my current theme song? Come What May--Ewan McGregor
Look, I have other, non-Moulin Rouge stuff on here. Honest.

13. What shall they play at my funeral? Your Song--Alessandro Safina
I think Media Player is pissing me about here.

14. What type of men do I like? Every Breath You Take--The Police
Stalker men. Nice.

15. How’s my love life? Lazy Sunday--Small Faces
Bugger all happening. That's about it.

Well, that was a diverting fifteen minutes. I'd like to say in my defence that it took me almost that long to get Media Player to shuffle the contents if My Music folder, and I'm still not sure it worked (see above re: all that Moulin Rouge stuff). Plus, half the tracks it came up with were just listed Track 2 and stuff, and my speakers aren't working so I couldn't listen.

So, that was largely pointless. But I did like the answer to the children question.

It's a steal

Because I nicked this from Kris, who nicked it from Em, and I like talking about myself.

Go to Wikipedia and type in the day and month of your birthday (but not the year you were born). Then post: three of the events that happened on this day, two births, and one death. Here goes for me:

Events:

45 BC - In his last victory, Julius Caesar defeats the Pompeian forces of Titus Labienus and Pompey the Younger in the Battle of Munda (what's Munda?)

1931 - Nevada legalizes gambling (so what exactly was the point of Vegas before that?).

2003 - British Cabinet Minister, Robin Cook, resigns over government plans for war with Iraq (I have it clear in my memory that this was the day we officially declared war on Iraq. I remember, because it was my 21st birthday, we drove up to the Lake District which is about six or seven hours away, and spent the whole journey and the following five days listening to the most boring and repetitive news reports nonstop. Once we'd heard the news, they had nothing else to say on the matter. But they kept talking about it for a week anyway. Great birthday).

Births:

1919 - Nat King Cole, American singer (d. 1965)

1973 - Caroline Corr, Irish singer and musician (I knew this, because I was a big Corrs fan back before they sold out, and went to see them at the Royal Albert Hall on my 16th birthday. Wasn't sure if it would be very cool to play a gig like that on your birthday, or just a drag).

Death:

493 - Saint Patrick, patron saint of Ireland (was wondering when he'd be mentioned).

Apart from that, a whole load of people I'd never heard of. Oh, apparently ol' Titus Labienus was killed in that battle, because his death was recorded then. Although how, I'm not sure, because the Gregorian calender apparently wasn't adopted throughout Europe until the sixteenth and in some cases eighteenth century (or twentieth, in Russia). So quite how anyone managed, or even bothered, to convert poor Titus's death date remains a mystery to me. Or would, if I actually gave a damn.

Rather dispiritingly, Wikipedia has no page for the actual date and year of my birth.

Yet.

Omega 3...or 4...

Okay, well, I was bored. Thinkin' about my recent(ish) rant about Alphas and Omegas, I decided to make a quiz so you can easily find out what category your hero--fictional or otherwise--falls into. What kind of man do you fall for? What kind do you like reading about? What kind do you write about? Who's hottest: Spike, Jack, or Jayne? The answers to all these questions and more can be found right here...

Six books

I don't really have anything to talk about today, so I'll just share with you the revelation that I have six books published. Six! This time last year I didn't have one. Since August, in fact, there've been books about: vampires, Egyptians, werewolves, elves, crack whores, nypmhs, satyrs, group sex, courtesan-assassins, half-lion men, mad faeries, wizards, pirate queens, fishing floats, mad faeries having group sex... er, I think that's it. There is more fae-group-sex coming up in the next book, but for now I'm writing about someone who can't speak and someone who doesn't like to. Which means the book's really about sex and fighting.

Oh, and the one I have planned after that is about a psychic and a guy who can fly. Normality is so boring.

Sugar, do do do do do, oh, Honey Honey, you are my Candy girl....

New review for Playing With Matches from Fallen Angel Reviews. Five Angels, whee! Quite ironic, really, considering the debauchery that goes on. But then, they are fallen angels, so that's all right.

Lady from Cats Protection came today (yes, there should be an apostrophe there, but it's late and I can't be arsed, really). Being that we're all caring, sharing people, Rich the misanthrope stayed out of sight, the dog didn't have another stroke or throw up on herself and Tinker, the manky heap of bones that he is, got stuck upstairs, they decided we're allowed to adopt. They have a litter of white kittens who are currently very tiny, but who we're allowed to visit in a week or two. If we get a girl, Mum wants to call her Marilyn, but I'm not big on human names for animals (although I did call a heroine Candy once, and I know some poor girls get called Honey). I kinda want to call her Sugar, after Marilyn's turn in Some Like It Hot.

If it's a boy, I'll probably call him Spike.

Can I get a whoop, whoop?

Thank you! (I just typed whank you. Freudian typing?). Got my first Ellora's Cave royalty cheque today. And while I'm not going to be indiscreet, I'm pretty happy and certainly a lot less broke!

Also, planning a second book...

New book!

The third book in my Sundown, Inc. series is out today with Changeling Press. I know, I know, you've all been waiting so long for it. Six whole months! I can only apologise. But I did give you three other books to read in the meantime.

Five Things You Never Knew About Wizards

1. You don’t need all the proper crystal ball-type props to do real magic. Although things can get kind of interesting when you improvise.

2. There is no wizard academy full of jolly thrills and spills. You get pushed in at the deep end, and only the really lucky ones get a nose plug.

3. Faeries like wizards. The same way that humans like pack mules - except we’re way kinder to pack mules.

4. We’re not immune to a shapely female form, although sadly, they’re not as available as I’d like.

5. Sometimes — just sometimes — we get things wrong. And when we do, the results can be pretty spectacular.

How many pirate queens have you freed lately?

I am of course running a contest to celebrate the launch. The details are on my website: you could win a free download of the book and a pie-rat medallion of your very own! Arr, matey. Shiver me timbers, and all that.

Pet count: 1 cat. 1 dog. (!)

Quiet time

Pet count: 1 cat. 1 dog--just.

With Candy's ghost still hovering on the stairs (I actually reached up to stroke her the other day, then realised of course she's not there) it seems far too soon for Honey to go downhill. She had another stroke yesterday. Then, today when she seemed to be doing okay, another. If they're not strokes they're seizures. I don't know. She's hardly moved since this afternoon and I don't expect to still have her tomorrow.

It might sound cold, but I'm just too tired of this all right now. If I start really thinking about it I'll cry and never stop, and here isn't the place to do it.

So I might be quiet for a while, until I get myself together again.

Guest blogger

Fellow Changeling Press author Alecia Monaco has kindly allowed me to guest blog today! Go and check out my wit and wisdom on one of my favourite subjects.

Sunday already?

Where'd the week go? I haven't even unpacked my case from skiing yet (but if I need thermal underwear, then of course I will). Spent most of yesterday wretchedly hungover after going out Friday night. Since Rich wasn't here for my actual birthday, we delayed it a week. Great restaurant, great food, really great wine...and more wine... Then yesterday was the Duty Visit Oop North, which involved getting up far too bloody early (could have done with sleeping until at least noon) and spending three hours in a car. Well, three hours in a car is never pleasant, especially when my dad insists on taking the wiggly back roads to get to the motorway (why? It's like three miles from our house!). Three hours plus bad hangover equals sicky. I maintain it's not my fault at all, and why'd I have to go anyway? Bah. Bah!

Anyway. Mother's Day today, and the request was for me and Rich to cook. Heh, I get to do tea, and he has to make a prawn and avocado salad for lunch. Since he's never seen an avocado outside a supermarket, this could be fun.

Boredom is a wonderful, wonderful thing

Pet count: 1 cat (ancient, doddery Tinker), 1 dog (heart-murmur-fluid-on-lungs Honey). No kitten yet.

I'm in that great period between finishing a book and getting the edits, which is when I get to find out just how bad it really is. I did a little more on Kett and Bael's book, tentatively titled Almost Magic, follow-up to Almost Human. I haven't pitched it to my editor yet, mostly because I don't have anything resembling a plot. The downside to being a pantster.
But anyway. It's about Kett, Chance's cousin who features briefly in Almost Human. Kett is a shapeshifter with a whole lot of junk in her trunk; and I'm not talking about her ass. She's been a soldier and a mercenary and a statue--yes, the stone kind--and she trains dragons for a living. She's not particularly amused to find she has a rather literal tie to Bael. Here is Kett:

Bael is a Nasc with a pretty big secret, and no, I'm not going to tell you what it is. Think Jayne from Firefly/Serenity crossed with Rufus Sewell's Petruchio, and you're most of the way there. Big and violent and more than a little bit mad. Finding he's chained to Kett is vastly entertaining to him. Here he be:


Now, don't start bombarding me with desperate emails about release dates just yet. I know none of you can wait a single moment longer for another tale of the Realms. But you're gonna have to. Because I only have eleven pages on it yet. But see the pretty pictures I made? Boredom is a good thing.

Catless

After a dull-as-hell Saturday I announced I was visiting Wood Green animal shelter at Heydon--about a half-hour drive from here down some very, very twisty little roads. The 'rents decided they'd better come too (which meant I didn't have to drive, heh). They didn't have any kittens and advised that when they do, they go very quickly, so we're to keep calling to see if they have any. Very nearly brought home a beautiful tortie/white girl called Mistique (yes, I'd have had to change the spelling) who was so pretty and so friendly, even Mum was really taken with her. But poor 'ol Misti didn't like other cats or dogs, so she was a no-no. The only cats they had who were compatible were quite old, and I'm afraid I had to be selfish about that. With one extremely elderly gent, and two who passed away so recently, I just don't think I could handle getting attached to a cat who's going to die so soon.

I want a kitten who's gonna give me a good few years first. Oh! And! They said they prefer to rehome kittens in pairs. When I put the idea of a pair of kittens to Mum later, she said she was as happy with two as one. I grinned and said, "What about Dad?" She just shrugged and smiled. Once he's said yes to one, how much harder can two be?

Going to check with the vet in Stortford, see if they know anyone. It's still early in the kitten season yet--the vet up the road (and I mean about 50 yards from my house) only knew of one lady whose kittens will be ready in 10-12 weeks. But I can't wait that long!

Dullness

It's a sort of post-birthday hangover, isn't it? Well, slightly literally in my case. I did have five pints of Guinness and half a bottle of wine last night. Oh, and the wine at lunch, too. But what I actually meant, har har, is the depressed feeling you always get after your birthday. You know? Hey, yesterday was my special day and people bought me drinks and gave me presents! And today is just a plain sucky Saturday. I have a deadline to meet (actually I sort of stood it up, ahem) and a diet to start and I've just spent all day hanging around getting frustrated, because I wanted to start cat-searching today. But first I had to wait for the Sky man to come and go (stupid Sky+ was completely broken, a step down from its usual state of crappiness); and then the 'rents went to the supermarket, and then we were going to go for a walk and I thought, okay, cat-searching this afternoon! But then Andrew phoned to say he was going to come right over to pick up the ski gear he'd lent Dad, and he stayed for a drink, and then it was lunchtime, and then Dad fell asleep and still wanted to go for a walk when he woke up... and by then I was pissed off, bored and frustrated.

But I decided I'm going to Heydon tomorrow morning, before I go to Alysia's. If they don't have anything, no problem, can keep searching the other shelters this week. If they do, then Alysia can come here and play! But today, sitting around doing nothing when stuff should have been done, was just damn annoying.

Anyway. Here's what I was doing last night (this picture is now pinned to the beam above the bar at the D&D). Can you see how unfocused my eyes are? Those Guinness hats are worth four pints. We had three of them...