It's a carrier bag. You can just see the shopping list under her tail. Cats...bags...it's all too obvious!
Wednesday, June 28, 2006
Caption competition
It's a carrier bag. You can just see the shopping list under her tail. Cats...bags...it's all too obvious!
Tuesday, June 27, 2006
Ordinance survey maps are stupid
So there's this village fun run thing going on at the weekend, and our neighbour is organising it. My dad, possibly while drunk, agreed to be a marshal, you know, one of those people in day-glo jackets who point out which way you're supposed to go. The course is 10k (about 6 miles) across fields and stuff. Mum and I decided to walk the course a little way to see where my dad was supposed to stand...and got lost.
We were okay for the first part. Village, hill, farm... then a load of farm tracks. Map terrifically unclear. Marked out things like Netherhills Plantation (v useful when all around you are identical fields), pit (disused) and FB. What's an FB? I could think of a few things, but none of them likely to appear on a map (and no, when we got to where FB was on the map--finally--there was nothing but more fields and trees there. Map did not, however, mark such things as bridges. So when we came to a bit that was supposed to be a straight footpath to the road, and found a left-right-bridge-right-left-field combo instead, we figured we were lost.
Flashbacks to Year 8 'orienteering' around Hatfield Forest using a 10-yr-old map that didn't take into account several years nettle growth.
Anyway. Figure we walked about five miles. Downed several pints of Coke on return (best thing in the world when you're really thirsty! Water, pah).
Have no idea what the point of this post actually was. My dad is fine now, thanks for asking Emma, and we're going to Wimbledon on Thursday (probably) since yesterday was a washout (forecast was dire and indeed they had 45 mins of play, total all day). Will miss Federer (unless he gets rained off tomorrow, but the weather is supposed to be fine), but on the plus side, hopefully Timmy won't be playing, so the queues will be shorter.
ETA: Two things. One, linking to the new (more accurate) map useless. Two: FB means foot bridge. Actually I've re-christened it: fucking bridge. What happened to the little bridge symbol they used to have? And why was the FB on the map miles from actual FB? Bah. Bah, I say.
We were okay for the first part. Village, hill, farm... then a load of farm tracks. Map terrifically unclear. Marked out things like Netherhills Plantation (v useful when all around you are identical fields), pit (disused) and FB. What's an FB? I could think of a few things, but none of them likely to appear on a map (and no, when we got to where FB was on the map--finally--there was nothing but more fields and trees there. Map did not, however, mark such things as bridges. So when we came to a bit that was supposed to be a straight footpath to the road, and found a left-right-bridge-right-left-field combo instead, we figured we were lost.
Flashbacks to Year 8 'orienteering' around Hatfield Forest using a 10-yr-old map that didn't take into account several years nettle growth.
Anyway. Figure we walked about five miles. Downed several pints of Coke on return (best thing in the world when you're really thirsty! Water, pah).
Have no idea what the point of this post actually was. My dad is fine now, thanks for asking Emma, and we're going to Wimbledon on Thursday (probably) since yesterday was a washout (forecast was dire and indeed they had 45 mins of play, total all day). Will miss Federer (unless he gets rained off tomorrow, but the weather is supposed to be fine), but on the plus side, hopefully Timmy won't be playing, so the queues will be shorter.
ETA: Two things. One, linking to the new (more accurate) map useless. Two: FB means foot bridge. Actually I've re-christened it: fucking bridge. What happened to the little bridge symbol they used to have? And why was the FB on the map miles from actual FB? Bah. Bah, I say.
Sunday, June 25, 2006
Thought for the day:
Do not meddle in the affairs of dragons... for you are crunchy, and good with ketchup.
This sounds like something Joss Whedon would write, but I read it as a bumper-sticker on Kendra's blog, and am assured Sherrilyn Kenyon has used it in a book. Funny, anyway. And true.
I could kill you with my thumb.
This sounds like something Joss Whedon would write, but I read it as a bumper-sticker on Kendra's blog, and am assured Sherrilyn Kenyon has used it in a book. Funny, anyway. And true.
I could kill you with my thumb.
It's the most wonderful time of the year
Wimbledon fortnight, of course. I don't really do tennis, otherwise. To be perfectly honest, I have absolutely no idea what the rules are. I don't care. I can spend hours at Wimbledon just watching the line judges and ball boys--all those protocols, it's like a military operation!
So, I'm off there tomorrow. Well, weather willing, anyway. Not that rain ruins the whole thing, but if it rains solidly from 12-6 then there's not a lot of play. And if it rains solidly from 6-12, in the morning that is, then you've got a very damp queuing experience.
Thursday, June 22, 2006
Fuck me gently with a chainsaw
I don't feel like being polite today. Or like making a coherent point. I'm just following a global blogging trend and letting my inner bitch burst forth to feast upon the carcasses of the innocent.
I'm in a bad mood, people. Bad week, PMS, whatever. My dad is okay, thanks for asking. The docs reckon it was probably an infection or something, but being trained medical professionals, they're not really sure if it might also be appendicitis, gallstone, or an alien about to burst forth.
Snarking the Snarky made me cheer five minutes ago. All this backbiting and bitching masquerading as opinion. It's bullying, plain and simple. Run along.
I get really irritated when people react instantly online. Just because you have an opinion, doesn't mean you need to vent it. I mean, it's my opinion that all those people who go around shit-stirring need to be shot--but I don't go around saying it. Oh crap, I just did.
I'm also intensely irritated by that double standard that says you can bitch at my hard work, but if I bitch back at you, or even respond calmly and rationally, then I'm a stupid unprofessional cow. Authors don't have feelings, you know. We're not entitled to opinions. That's why we only get less than 10% of the print sales from a book we've written the whole of.
The customer is not always right. Having worked in shops and on an airport check-in desk, I can tell you that the customer is usually a flaming imbecile. But if you tell them so--exercising your right to opinion--then they won't buy anything from you, and you'll go bankrupt.
But then maybe the flaming imbeciles don't deserve your product. Why should a bully be entertained? I'm with dear old Lucy Diver. "I love my life, and if God don't like me then I don't like him either, and I don't want to go to heaven." Of course, Lucy Diver got hanged five minutes later.
Figures.
I'm in a bad mood, people. Bad week, PMS, whatever. My dad is okay, thanks for asking. The docs reckon it was probably an infection or something, but being trained medical professionals, they're not really sure if it might also be appendicitis, gallstone, or an alien about to burst forth.
Snarking the Snarky made me cheer five minutes ago. All this backbiting and bitching masquerading as opinion. It's bullying, plain and simple. Run along.
I get really irritated when people react instantly online. Just because you have an opinion, doesn't mean you need to vent it. I mean, it's my opinion that all those people who go around shit-stirring need to be shot--but I don't go around saying it. Oh crap, I just did.
I'm also intensely irritated by that double standard that says you can bitch at my hard work, but if I bitch back at you, or even respond calmly and rationally, then I'm a stupid unprofessional cow. Authors don't have feelings, you know. We're not entitled to opinions. That's why we only get less than 10% of the print sales from a book we've written the whole of.
The customer is not always right. Having worked in shops and on an airport check-in desk, I can tell you that the customer is usually a flaming imbecile. But if you tell them so--exercising your right to opinion--then they won't buy anything from you, and you'll go bankrupt.
But then maybe the flaming imbeciles don't deserve your product. Why should a bully be entertained? I'm with dear old Lucy Diver. "I love my life, and if God don't like me then I don't like him either, and I don't want to go to heaven." Of course, Lucy Diver got hanged five minutes later.
Figures.
Wednesday, June 21, 2006
My dad
...has just rushed--or been rushed--off to hospital with what seems to be appendicitis. That's what the doctor thinks, anyway. Am kind of relieved, because that's pretty treatable, and not anything scary like the C word. Hopefully, there'll be no complications, and he'll be all right.
So, I'm feeling kind of odd. Snarking will resume later.
So, I'm feeling kind of odd. Snarking will resume later.
Tuesday, June 20, 2006
Marjorie Jones's daughter--update
Crisis over, Staci is on her way home, alive and well. Thanks to anyone who passed the message on.
Here is a stick
Please, don't take the wrong end.
I just came back from a walk to the next village to post a letter. It's hot, my jeans were too heavy and my makeup melted in.
Please, don't get offended by this. I have to walk to the next village because the letter is going abroad, so needs a stamp I don't usually carry, and my local post office closed down a while ago because people kept robbing it. But I'm not blaming those people. Or the Post Office, for closing it. Or for deciding that it's more expensive to send a letter to Finland than to somewhere in my own country. Nor am I boasting, or complaining, that I know someone in Finland.
I'm also not bitching about the fact I was walking. It's only a couple of miles, an hour and a half round trip, and I thought I could use the exercise. This is not because I'm moaning about my weight, because I don't think I'm a horribly fat cow. Nor am I saying there's anything wrong with being fat. I mean, plus-sized.
Now the weather. It was 26C when I left the house. I know not everyone uses metric measures and that there are advantages and disadvantages to both systems, so I'll explain that 26C is about 79F. Please understand, also, that to consider 26C to be hot is my own personal opinion. I know there are much hotter places in the world, and that people have to do much harder things in them than just go for a walk. And, of course, I could have driven there, with the airconditioning on. But to drive there would be to disregard the environmental and political associations of burning fossil fuels.
Jeans. Should I have continued to wear them? Is it unfair of me to complain about them being too hot when I was already aware of the outside temperature? I didn't get changed, because my shorter, capri-length jeans are in the wash and my linen capris are too pale and would show the underwear I was wearing. I could have changed my underwear, but then I'd be wasting water, washing an extra item, which would be thoughtless. Also, wearing something shorter would display my legs which are pale and need to be shaved. Of course, pale legs are not a bad thing. Suntanning is, of course, dangerous and thoughtless, and I should always be aware of the implications of complaining about being white. I'm not racist. Also, there are the feminist concerns over shaving my legs. Is it pure vanity to do this? Who am I shaving them for? Isn't it unnatural to do so? I didn't want to offend someone with the unsightly hairs on my legs, but then I didn't want to offend someone who was against leg-shaving, either. I know some people are traumatised by beards--again, that's not a personal judgement, I have nothing against beards, or the lack of, it's okay if you can't grow one--so maybe hairy legs might be traumatic to some people, too?
I could have worn shorts, but I don't feel my legs look very attractive in shorts. This is concerning, however, as I know that looks aren't important compared to the personality underneath, and that even the largest person has a valid right to wear whatever they like. As long as it's not in an inappropriate place, where showing too much skin might be considered offensive to a religious group's beliefs.
And the makeup. Once again, it's vanity and my own ego. I wear makeup to cover the adult acne on my face because I feel insecure about it. As someone younger than my peers in my chosen profession, I find it hard to be taken seriously and being afflicted with a condition more common to teenagers exacerbates that. I also just don't like the sight of it. It's extremely shallow of me to cover up my acne, because there are a lot of teenagers out there who don't and are very self-conscious about it. Often they feel they can't wear makeup because they're male, but that's gender stereotyping and I don't wish to be seen as sexist, because I believe that it doesn't matter which sex you are. Also, that it's unfair to dismiss acne as unattractive because it has no bearing on the personality of the person who has it. Except for in a psychological sense, because it can boost insecurities as it is perceived as unattractive.
I was going to add that I'm driving to a friend's house to join her at her local pub to watch the football because the barman there is hot, but I've already written seven paragraphs about my walk, and there's just no way I can explain my evening without offending anyone's beliefs or sensibilities, maligning any individuals, groups, majorities or minorities, races, countries or personality types, or implying something I have no intention of.
I hope no one was offended by this blog, and that if I inadvertently expressed an opinion which you may find in opposition to your own beliefs, that you will explain to me why, in detail, I am wrong and you are right. If my response isn't to your satisfaction, I believe it is your right and duty to post details on your own blog, and henceforth refuse to ever visit here again. In addition, it is also expected that you will boycott all my books, publishers, and books written by other authors linked on this blog, and other books published by their publishers, in the event that they contain opinions which may also be offensive to you, whether or not you have already purchased, or intended to purchase, the books in the first place.
Thank you.
I just came back from a walk to the next village to post a letter. It's hot, my jeans were too heavy and my makeup melted in.
Please, don't get offended by this. I have to walk to the next village because the letter is going abroad, so needs a stamp I don't usually carry, and my local post office closed down a while ago because people kept robbing it. But I'm not blaming those people. Or the Post Office, for closing it. Or for deciding that it's more expensive to send a letter to Finland than to somewhere in my own country. Nor am I boasting, or complaining, that I know someone in Finland.
I'm also not bitching about the fact I was walking. It's only a couple of miles, an hour and a half round trip, and I thought I could use the exercise. This is not because I'm moaning about my weight, because I don't think I'm a horribly fat cow. Nor am I saying there's anything wrong with being fat. I mean, plus-sized.
Now the weather. It was 26C when I left the house. I know not everyone uses metric measures and that there are advantages and disadvantages to both systems, so I'll explain that 26C is about 79F. Please understand, also, that to consider 26C to be hot is my own personal opinion. I know there are much hotter places in the world, and that people have to do much harder things in them than just go for a walk. And, of course, I could have driven there, with the airconditioning on. But to drive there would be to disregard the environmental and political associations of burning fossil fuels.
Jeans. Should I have continued to wear them? Is it unfair of me to complain about them being too hot when I was already aware of the outside temperature? I didn't get changed, because my shorter, capri-length jeans are in the wash and my linen capris are too pale and would show the underwear I was wearing. I could have changed my underwear, but then I'd be wasting water, washing an extra item, which would be thoughtless. Also, wearing something shorter would display my legs which are pale and need to be shaved. Of course, pale legs are not a bad thing. Suntanning is, of course, dangerous and thoughtless, and I should always be aware of the implications of complaining about being white. I'm not racist. Also, there are the feminist concerns over shaving my legs. Is it pure vanity to do this? Who am I shaving them for? Isn't it unnatural to do so? I didn't want to offend someone with the unsightly hairs on my legs, but then I didn't want to offend someone who was against leg-shaving, either. I know some people are traumatised by beards--again, that's not a personal judgement, I have nothing against beards, or the lack of, it's okay if you can't grow one--so maybe hairy legs might be traumatic to some people, too?
I could have worn shorts, but I don't feel my legs look very attractive in shorts. This is concerning, however, as I know that looks aren't important compared to the personality underneath, and that even the largest person has a valid right to wear whatever they like. As long as it's not in an inappropriate place, where showing too much skin might be considered offensive to a religious group's beliefs.
And the makeup. Once again, it's vanity and my own ego. I wear makeup to cover the adult acne on my face because I feel insecure about it. As someone younger than my peers in my chosen profession, I find it hard to be taken seriously and being afflicted with a condition more common to teenagers exacerbates that. I also just don't like the sight of it. It's extremely shallow of me to cover up my acne, because there are a lot of teenagers out there who don't and are very self-conscious about it. Often they feel they can't wear makeup because they're male, but that's gender stereotyping and I don't wish to be seen as sexist, because I believe that it doesn't matter which sex you are. Also, that it's unfair to dismiss acne as unattractive because it has no bearing on the personality of the person who has it. Except for in a psychological sense, because it can boost insecurities as it is perceived as unattractive.
I was going to add that I'm driving to a friend's house to join her at her local pub to watch the football because the barman there is hot, but I've already written seven paragraphs about my walk, and there's just no way I can explain my evening without offending anyone's beliefs or sensibilities, maligning any individuals, groups, majorities or minorities, races, countries or personality types, or implying something I have no intention of.
I hope no one was offended by this blog, and that if I inadvertently expressed an opinion which you may find in opposition to your own beliefs, that you will explain to me why, in detail, I am wrong and you are right. If my response isn't to your satisfaction, I believe it is your right and duty to post details on your own blog, and henceforth refuse to ever visit here again. In addition, it is also expected that you will boycott all my books, publishers, and books written by other authors linked on this blog, and other books published by their publishers, in the event that they contain opinions which may also be offensive to you, whether or not you have already purchased, or intended to purchase, the books in the first place.
Thank you.
Monday, June 19, 2006
Catfight!
Yesterday, Karen Scott forwarded on the Changeling missive that we're not going out of business (no, we don't know where the rumour came from, either) and added her own two penn'orth on why she hasn't been to the Changeling site for a while: because she doesn't like the covers.
Now. My covers are all displayed here on the left, and I think they're all pretty fine. But then, I'm really specific with cover art requests, even down to providing sketches of what I want. Actually, I have my own copy of Poser so I can mess around and find out what's possible with cover art. So maybe my covers suck, but I like them. But I will admit that there are some Changeling covers I don't like. There are always problems with CG art, but on the whole I think they come up better than some of the photographic covers you get (amount of times I've seen those things portray not the slightest bit of accuracy with regards to a character's appearance. Demure brunette librarian in the book, fiery redheaded dominatrix on the cover. Yeah).
But anyway. Comments were posted, and then defensive comments were posted back... and as always when anyone expresses anything remotely resembling an opinion in cyberworld, a thousand people poured in to argue against it. And then people argued against them. And then...
God, I'm bored with it already. It's amusing for the first ten minutes, but then it just gets silly. Next, please.
Now. My covers are all displayed here on the left, and I think they're all pretty fine. But then, I'm really specific with cover art requests, even down to providing sketches of what I want. Actually, I have my own copy of Poser so I can mess around and find out what's possible with cover art. So maybe my covers suck, but I like them. But I will admit that there are some Changeling covers I don't like. There are always problems with CG art, but on the whole I think they come up better than some of the photographic covers you get (amount of times I've seen those things portray not the slightest bit of accuracy with regards to a character's appearance. Demure brunette librarian in the book, fiery redheaded dominatrix on the cover. Yeah).
But anyway. Comments were posted, and then defensive comments were posted back... and as always when anyone expresses anything remotely resembling an opinion in cyberworld, a thousand people poured in to argue against it. And then people argued against them. And then...
God, I'm bored with it already. It's amusing for the first ten minutes, but then it just gets silly. Next, please.
Friday, June 16, 2006
Amber alert
Marjorie is an eXstasy author, and I'm assured this is genuine. It's been more than 12 hours now--a day and a half, I think. Just putting this out to see if anyone can help. The link below has more information.
-----Forwarded Message-----
From: Marjorie Jones
Subject: URGENT MESSAGE : PLEASE FORWARD
This is NO hoax... this is MY daughter. Many of you know me and the
lists I've sent this to are the only ones I could think of. I am on
my way to the sheriff's office so they can dissect my computer and
maybe crack her yahoo codes and see who she's been chatting with and such.
MY DAUGHTER IS MISSING
PLEASE FORWARD TO THIS TO ANYONE YOU CAN! OTHER LISTS, FRIENDS,
FAMILY. SHE'S BEEN GONE FOR MORE THAN 12 HOURS AND SHE COULD BE IN
DANGER! PLEASE PASS THIS ON!
Thursday, June 15, 2006
Free associations
So I got a new phone the other day. Mostly because my old one was rubbish, ring volume was so low I could never hear it no matter how high I turned it up, screen was poky, etc. Plus, it had a really annoying arial stump that always got caught on stuff in my bag, or my pocket, so if by some miracle I ever heard the damn thing ring, I could never get to it in time to answer it.
New phone is supercute. No stupid arial. Big screen. Currently it sports a picture of Sugar being adorable (she's 14 weeks old, she can't be anything else). I wanted my old picture of Tinker practising his 'I'm old and skinny and need food' wail, but I can't seem to transfer them over. Old phone has USB port, but needs software I just can't be bothered to buy. Can always MMS them to someone and get them to send them back to my new phone.
Don't really even know why I got a new phone. I mean, whole days go by where I remember I've left it in my bag and no one's called me. I really only use it to text Alysia, who emails most of the time when she's at work, or Patrick, who I don't speak to all that much, or Richard, who lives in the same house as me, which is a little pathetic. Or Amy, to whom it is free to send an IM, but neither of us are that bright.
Speaking of Patrick, am going bowling with him today. No especial reason except that he asked and I'm bored. Apparently his brother, with whom I have exchanged prescisely no words ever before, is also coming, and someone else I don't know. Well, anyway. Beats lying around in the sun all day.
Now that there is sun again. The storm has cleared the air. It's not really warm enough to lie around though. Went for a walk yesterday, wore a hoodie, but it got warmer as I was walking. Coming out of Spar (really must learn what it's called now, hasn't been Spar for about twenty years) saw my old teacher from primary school. V strange to see them when they're smaller than you. Also to think of her as 'Aileen', not 'Mrs Smith'. At least, I think that's how you spell her name.
Wow. From new phone to old teacher. Five paragraphs there, and I don't think any of them contained a single interesting fact. Free associations.
New phone is supercute. No stupid arial. Big screen. Currently it sports a picture of Sugar being adorable (she's 14 weeks old, she can't be anything else). I wanted my old picture of Tinker practising his 'I'm old and skinny and need food' wail, but I can't seem to transfer them over. Old phone has USB port, but needs software I just can't be bothered to buy. Can always MMS them to someone and get them to send them back to my new phone.
Don't really even know why I got a new phone. I mean, whole days go by where I remember I've left it in my bag and no one's called me. I really only use it to text Alysia, who emails most of the time when she's at work, or Patrick, who I don't speak to all that much, or Richard, who lives in the same house as me, which is a little pathetic. Or Amy, to whom it is free to send an IM, but neither of us are that bright.
Speaking of Patrick, am going bowling with him today. No especial reason except that he asked and I'm bored. Apparently his brother, with whom I have exchanged prescisely no words ever before, is also coming, and someone else I don't know. Well, anyway. Beats lying around in the sun all day.
Now that there is sun again. The storm has cleared the air. It's not really warm enough to lie around though. Went for a walk yesterday, wore a hoodie, but it got warmer as I was walking. Coming out of Spar (really must learn what it's called now, hasn't been Spar for about twenty years) saw my old teacher from primary school. V strange to see them when they're smaller than you. Also to think of her as 'Aileen', not 'Mrs Smith'. At least, I think that's how you spell her name.
Wow. From new phone to old teacher. Five paragraphs there, and I don't think any of them contained a single interesting fact. Free associations.
Tuesday, June 13, 2006
Liquid air
So I once read a book set in nineteenth century Ireland that said the constant moisture in the air gave all the women wonderful complexions. Clearly, this was written by someone who had never read a skincare article, in which is it is usually stated that water actually dries out the skin. Or, in fact, been to England, which is just as wet as Ireland and where perfect skin is as rare as the rest of the world. In any case, modern humidity is hell if you wear even a slight smudge of makeup. I went for a walk today and I thought my face was melting. Well, anyway, I probably sweated out a few pounds.
Not as many as these chaps, though. Sunday was hot, overcast, and the air was like soup. My Coke bottle felt like it had been microwaved (the plastic actually started warping). Even Alysia, who I think would live on the sun if she could, didn't enjoy it. Anyway. Jousting tournament at Audley End, and these guys were walking around in fur-trimmed wool robes, before they put on their 70lb armour, lifted 15lb lances, and rode towards each other at a combined speed of 50mph. Reckon they ended the day about 20lb lighter than they started it.
Not as many as these chaps, though. Sunday was hot, overcast, and the air was like soup. My Coke bottle felt like it had been microwaved (the plastic actually started warping). Even Alysia, who I think would live on the sun if she could, didn't enjoy it. Anyway. Jousting tournament at Audley End, and these guys were walking around in fur-trimmed wool robes, before they put on their 70lb armour, lifted 15lb lances, and rode towards each other at a combined speed of 50mph. Reckon they ended the day about 20lb lighter than they started it.
Friday, June 09, 2006
Shameless self-promotion, part III
(No, must be past three now. Oh well, I can't really count).
Never Leave Me is released today! This book drove me crazy while I was writing it, so I hope you all appreciate my loss of sanity. For some reason, having identified dialogue as my strong point, I decided to write a book without any. See, me? Crazy.
Never Leave Me is released today! This book drove me crazy while I was writing it, so I hope you all appreciate my loss of sanity. For some reason, having identified dialogue as my strong point, I decided to write a book without any. See, me? Crazy.
Reaver's been a demon hunter since he was sixteen, and if there's one thing he can't stand, it's helplessness. So when he finds a girl so shocked by demon possession that she can't speak a word, he's ready to get rid of her as soon as he can.
But he never bargained on her invading his dreams and knowing everything about him. He never expected her to be the best fighter he's ever seen. And he sure as hell didn't think she'd turn out to be so damn sexy.
Before he can give in to what he never knew he wanted, he's got to figure out just who she is... and why the hell he wants her so much.
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