Zucchero, il modello

Okay, that's probably not the right Italian, but I can't find my dictionary. Richard and I are learning Italian, you see. I did some at school, but it was ten years ago and I hardly remember any. See? School is useless.

Anyway. During the 'caffe con zucchero' bit of the CD (yes, CD, and it has backing music, too!), little Sugar trotted in. Well, I say little. She's pretty big now. Not as big as her brother, who is heavier than me now. But then, since I only weigh seven stone three, that's not hard.

(er, that's 7st3 per ...eye).

But my bella Zucchero is so pretty, I took some pictures of her, lounging on my new duvet like the little superstar she is. Ain't she gorgeous? Ain't my bedding cool? Ain't it all bellissimo?

Procrastination station

So, okay. Next Sundown book should be turned in by the end of the month. Samhain Christmas story the month after that. Then the next-next Sundown book. Then I have to finish self-edits on Sophie book three. And finish writing Kett's book. Then edit Sophie books four, five and six. Then finish book seven, and write book eight.

But you know what I'm doing? Making Poser arts.

Whatcha all doin' to procrastinate?

Approximately Human

They used to have this column in the Times Magazine on Saturdays where a famous saying, speech or whatever, would be put through an online translator into some other language, then back into English. Honestly, it was like reading those t-shirts printed up in Japan.

So in the spirit of learning and entertainment (trans: it's bloody funny and I love to procrastinate), I'm going to do the same with a couple of my book blurbs. You can tell where the translator just stalled over certain phrases (because they're the ones which are untouched). Greek was fun: all those funky characters!


She Who Dares, to Greek and back (couldn't find an Egyptian translator, but Dare is Greek, so that'll do).
There are nights when does I serious wish I'd never rise from the grave.

Undead executioner they are One thing , but when does the Guy I'm provision to kill turn Outside To have the blue eyes and yummiest butt I've seen since the fall of the Greek empire ( which incidentally was the last time saw him ), I start To have second thoughts.

He nice himself to dare , and that's it not as soon as his incomparable hotness that's all stalling me. twenty three century before my sign existent in the pharaoh and my heart upon One soldier. both of the them betrayed me. this was sole to dare who tried upon to rescue me.

This who to dare

Because serious , who sleep means One coffee this days?


What Wizards Want, to Welsh and back (see above re: no Irish translator, but Welsh came from the same root, and is also a seldom-used second official language. Plus, ain't much sea between them).

Five y were penetrating You Never Knew About Wizards

1. You wave ' tower need he is being able tea proper crusts mantle - type props he may cover I come real bags. Although y were penetrating flour get kind smith interesting when you improvise.

2. You would clarify below no wizard full smith jolly hyme and spills. You get pushed to to tea deep end and only tea really lucky honest get I go let him become night plug.

3. Like wizards. Tea same way hey were depressing humans like pack she-mull except web ' stud way kinder he may cover pack she-mull.

4. Web ' stud dot immune he may cover I go shapely female form although sadly , dot ace available ace I ' heartburn like.

5. Sometimes — just sometimes — web get y were penetrating wron. And when web I come , tea results flour be spectacular.

How e pirate queens have you freed lately?


Elf Gratification, to Swedish and back:

Calascien keeper perceive Truly reindeer isn't too happy to hear that his boss ice about to pray replaced. Ago keep one's cool thing he peer the old Truly. Ago another the new Truly ice the silliest , sexy , aunt annoyance young blonde he's ever met. How's an elf supporter to concentrate when his boss keeps dressing invite peer Truly A bit Stripped?

Candy Cinnamon isn't particularly pleased to pray abducted pious her life as a Hollywood husband artist duck tip in the noon perceive Nowhere Lapland. Ago a take-off everyone seems to pray really stoned : truly Elves? What are they smoking? Then there's the guy assigned to keep an eye on her : the aunt arrogant annoying deluded husband there's ever been.

But if he could fair goat it into his head that he's note an elf duck she's note Truly then she might take-off to find him gentle attractive. In a lunatic kind perceive way.


Fun, huh? Okay, one more. Almost Human...now, what language to pick? I know, Tagalog!


Bell journal. me are chance , knight of the order of the Phoenix , woman of the association.

Me trainer as a Phoenix knight because I'm condemn beneficial in a fight. me trainer as an associate because I'm condemn beneficial in bed. but all the training in the monarchy couldn't prepare me for dark man so potent sexy me can't keep my underwear toward in its presence.

It's a shame , then , thatch dark seem toward have different plan for my body—for sample , kill it.

Approximately Human

Love possible possible murder




I am so never going to get tired of 'Approximately Human'. Hah!

Spike, m'boy

No, for once not my baby boy (although he has been super-adorable of late). I'm talking about his namesake. Spike from Buffy the Vampire Slayer. William the Bloody. Randy Giles. You know the one.

My buddy Kendra Clark blogged about him recently on Trish Milburn's blog (another Whedonite! Yess!). Now, you all know I'm a BTVS fan. And a Spike fan. Hello, I'm a grown woman with three freaking posters of him around my computer. And I'm a Spuffy, viz. a fan of the Spike and Buffy relationship. Buffy fans are continually divided by the eternal Bangel vs Spuffy question (yes, continually: I'm swum in the murky waters of fandom and it's a manic place!), arguing forevermore over which one Buffy truly loved and should have been with. Joss didn't make things any clearer in the end, and quite right too, I think.

For my own part, I believe Buffy loved Angel a great deal. He was her first love, and we all know how intense that can be. I remember the first boy I fell in love with. I thought my heart would never heal, and we never had half the relationship B&A did (I wish!).

But, then there's Spike. I find him more attractive as a character, and not just because he's such a damn hottie. Angel's a damn hottie too. Hoo, baby. But I've never been a van of the tall, dark and brooding type. Gimme a man who makes me laugh any day. Gimme a bad boy. Gimme someone who's not afraid to admit he's love's bitch.

I'm going to state my case here, plain and clear, and say that I think Spike is one of the best characters I've ever seen on TV. He's superbly written and acted, but he's also been allowed to evolve. I'm going to ignore the Angel(the series) season, because I don't feel he was well represented there. We're sticking to BTVS, here. Spike entered that series as a straight villain, and ended it a hero. He went from someone who killed Slayers, to someone who died for one. And yes, there's the thorny issue of Seeing Red, a plot twist James Marsters was reportedly very unhappy with. How can you believe a man loves a woman when he's attempted to rape her?

Oh, how we've moved on from those forced seduction romance novels of the 70s and 80s! And thank God. I always hated those books. What I really hated was that the stupid heroine neverfought back, accepted the brutal way she was being treated, even apparently enjoyed it, and fell in love with the hero anyway! That's not love, that's Stockholm syndrome.

But I will defend the Seeing Red eposide. I think it's an important part of Spike's journey. Let me state here and now that I'd not defending his actions--of course I don't think attempted rape is defensible. But I understand why it had to happen in the story. I believe it belonged there, just like I believe the death of Buffy's mother belonged there, but it doesn't mean I wanted her dead.


Let me explain. In the Buffyverse, when a vampire is created, he loses his soul. Buffy falls in love with Angel because, although he is a vampire, he's had his soul returned. When he loses it again (careless boy), he plots to kill Buffy and end the world, with Spike's help. Spike, however, betrays Angel because he doesn't want the world to end (it contains good things, like Manchester United) and helps Buffy to stop Angel's fiendish plot. When Angel's soul is once more restored, he's understandably upset, and broods a whole lot more.

It's very important to understand the distinction here. Soulless Angel: vicious violent mass murder. Soulless Spike: vicious, violent mass murderer who saves the world half a dozen times; falls in love with a Slayer; protects and befriends her little sister; mourns her mother; and battles to restore his soul so he can be the man she deserves.

This gives us some clue as to Spike's strength of character. As Buffy explains in season two: "You die, and a demon sets up shop in your old house, and it walks, and it talks, and it remembers your life, but it's not you." And yet somehow, flashes of the old Spike come through.


In season five, an eposide of flashbacks shows all the important moments of Spike's life as a vampire. How he killed his first two Slayers, and how he got bitten in the first place. Why he got bitten. You see, Spike used to be known as William the Bloody...because of his bloody awful poetry. Yep, Spike was a poet. A bad one. Composing terrible rhymes to his lady love (and reading them out to his mother), he was terribly hurt by the lovely Cecilia's reaction (ie, scornful hilarity) and rushed outside into the cold Victorian streets, where a woman actually took an interest in him. Unfortunately she made him a vampire. And, doubly unfortunately, she was Drusilla, the novice nun Angel had tortured, raped and driven insane before making her a vampire.


So. William the gentle poet gets taken over by a demon and falls in with a pretty bad lot. He's got all this super strength and shit, but the girl he really wants now--Drusilla--still keeps messing around with that Angel guy. How to impress a gal like her? Why, kill the Slayer! It's such a rush that the next time he runs into a Slayer, he kills her, too. He develops a reputation, and the nickname Spike, derived from the railroad spikes he likes to torture his victims with. Now with Drusilla by his side, and Angel off being soully and broody and out of the picture, Spike's the king of the world.

Then Buffy shows up, and everything goes kerblooey.

Remember that for a hundred years, Spike has been ruled by a demon that whispers in his ear to kill, kill, kill. His girlfriend is a psychopath who likes violence and keeps dead birds in cages. He's pretty far removed from the normal world of romance. So when he falls for Buffy, he has no bloody clue what to do about it. The last time he wanted to make a girl like him, he went around killing Slayers, but that would be rather counterproductive now. The time before that, he wrote poetry, and that didn't end well, either. To add to his problems, Spike gets stuck with a chip in his head that means he can't hurt humans any more. A neutered vampire in love with a Slayer! He might as well die.

And yet, he lives. Taking out his violent urges on demons, taking care not to hurt humans, effects a change in our boy. Trying to please the Slayer falls in naturally with this, to the extent that when Buffy is killed, instead of being glad he's off the hook now, Spike continues to help the Scoobies to fight the forces of evil. He bonds with Buffy's little sister, Dawn, and protects her as much as he can. When Buffy comes a back from the dead, it's Spike who understands. He's clawed his way out of a coffin, too. He's counted the days since she's been gone. He listens when she confesses that she's been pulled out of heaven, and now she's in hell.

Bleak stuff, but Spike has finally found a way to connect with Buffy. He finally feels wanted and needed by her. When she thrashes out her anger, misery and loneliness in a destructive fight with Spike, that leads to sex which literally brings the house down, Spike figures he's finally got what he wanted. Buffy is sleeping with him, confiding in him, trusting him. When she's with him she smiles, jokes, she's happy. He's happy.

And then she tells him it's over. Her ex-boyfriend has come to town and Buffy's so ashamed of her vampire lover. Terrified her other friends will find out. Ashamed of herself for using him. Of course, if she cared nothing for him, she wouldn't mind that she was using him. Spike has never minded. He knows Buffy doesn't love him and probably never will. But it's enough for him, enough for now. Until she takes it away.

And Spike the vicious vampire demon comes roaring back to the surface. He's got to get her back. Got to make her happy again, got to find the happiness she gave him. He doesn't know what to do. He wants to make it stop. Make the feelings stop. He doesn't want to be in love with her any more. He tries to dull the pain, fog her memory by sleeping with another woman, but that all goes horribly wrong, and Buffy's friends all find out she's been shagging a soulless fiend. They hate him. She hates him. It's all gone horribly, horribly wrong. Even Dawn, Spike's greatest supporter, comes to tell him how much he's hurt Buffy.

< He needs to make her love him. Before, when they were having sex, she at least seemed to like him. If he can get her to have sex with him again, maybe she'll like him more. She's saved his life before, she doesn't want to see him dead, she must feel something, right? It's love, she just needs to admit it. Spike's desperate. He'll do anything to get her back, to make the pain go away.

But he can't force her to love him. Not emotionally, and not physically. And when he realises what he almost did, and what he actually did, he's horrified. He nearly raped her. And he really made her hate him completely.

Okay, so let's look at that. He went too far. For too long he's been kicked around, literally, by this woman, he's given up everything for her, changed everything, and she's finally, finally thrown him a bone. Then she takes it away. If he was a dog, you'd call the RSPCA. A starved, neglected creature, desperate for love--you take it in, give it a warm bed, food, affection, and then you kick it in the ribs and call it a Bad Dog when it's done nothing wrong. So the dog snaps, and attacks you. Of course it does. It doesn't understand why it's been treated this way. It only wanted to please you.

So the dog attacks you, and you have it put down. Who knows what would have happened if Spike hadn't got out of town? Certainly, Buffy's friends wanted him dead. Half a season later Giles, the most rational member of the group, plots to kill Spike.


But Spike still isn't defeated. He knows what he's done is terrible. Once again, let me remind you: at this point he still has no soul. Soulless Angel killed remorselessly. He revelled in Buffy's anguish. When he got his soul back, then he was mortified. Spike doesn't have the luxury of a soul, but he still knows he's done something appalling. He has a conscience. He knows he's got to make things better. He's got to give Buffy what she deserves: a good man who loves her and will never hurt her again.

So he nearly kills himself to get his soul back. He does everything in his power to become a better man. Guilt over his past actions drives him to the point of insanity, but he still never stops trying to help Buffy, to atone for the way he treated her. With his brand new shiny soul, Spike knows full well it's not likely a paragon like Buffy can ever love a creature like him, but he's still determined to give her everything he can. He never pressures her for anything again, certainly not sex, but works out what she needs from him--a friend--and gives it to her. And you know what, I believe Buffy does come to love him. I believe he's finally redeemed.


So that's it. That's my defence of a plot point that's divided and embittered many fans. I'd stand by it, if I was Joss Whedon. I believe it's something that needed to happen in that relationship. I believe something had to give, and that the demon infesting Spike's body won for those few awful minutes. But if sweet William hadn't been fighting so damn hard against that demon since the first moment he laid eyes on Buffy, the demon would have squashed him completely, and there would have been no fight. Spike would never have been redeemed.

I'm a Zwinky!

It's just amazing what you can find to procrastinate with these days, isn't it?

Legolas never had to put up with this shit

But then Legolas is a proper archer and wasn't just pissing about on holiday like me. Piece of advice from me to you, I forgot to mention it earlier: when the archery professional tells you that unless you keep your bow arm relaxed, the bowstring will hit your inner arm at 40-110mph, he's not joking.

Just thought I'd pass that on.

Back, two, three, four

...sorry, Steps moment there. Shudder.

Okay, well, I'm back from my mini-holiday. Three loads of laundry later (not mine, but no one else seems capable of it) I've finally remembered about BlogLand. Whoops!

Lots has actually happened this week. A release date for the next Sundown story has been set for December. This story for Changeling Press, Duty and the Beast, features a werewolf who doesn't believe in the paranormal, an elf who can't stop women ripping his clothes off, and some vampire corpses. Sound fun? It is to write.

Also in December I should have a Christmas story for Samhain. This story is so totally brand spanking new that neither it nor its heroine has a name yet. It's set in the Sophie-verse, but before she comes on the scene. More details will follow.

And last but not least, at the urging of my Changeling editor I have another Sundown story lined up. Well, sort of, I only just came up with the idea this weekend. She emailed me and said, "Pretty please can you do another menage?" And because I love her, and all my readers too, it's gonna be a vampire menage. Am I good to you, or what?

Oh! and I nearly forgot. Lacey Savage, another fantastic Changeling author, is featuring my August release, Naked Eyes, in her newsletter. She's even offering a free copy of it. Pop over to her website, or join her Yahoo group for more details. Next month she'll have an interview with me... because you just can't have enough Cat, can you?

Certainly my kittens seem to think so. Since I finally cleared all the crap out of my study they've been exploring (I just typed 'exploding' there, whoops) all over it. Here's my little--or not so little--Spike-alike, helping me with my work.

Off for a few days...

...be back Monday.

Cheerio!

Ugley Woman and Shellow Bowells

So was checking a map for locations for a Sophie book and found a place called Shellow Bowells. This, of course, immediately had to go into the book. It's just too funny not to. Yep, I'm easily amused.

I actually live about two miles from the village of Ugley (which is honestly very pretty), five from Maggots End, and probably about twenty from Shellow Bowells. I'm not making this up. A friend of mine used to live in Steeple Bumpstead, near Helions Bumpstead. On the way into Cambridge I drive through Trumpington.

This isn't even counting all the places that sound like characters from a Regency novel. "Why, my dear, you just missed Hatfield Peverell. But don't worry, he will certainly be attending Abbess Roding's party."

"But Mama! You know Margaret Roding and I don't get on at all. Not after all that trouble with Norton Mandeville."

"Nonsense, my dear girl, she's engaged to Theydon Bois now. Now, you must decide what to wear, since her brother Beauchamp Roding will be there. You simply must look better than Magdalen Laver; after all, even Saffron Walden turned her down."

"But you must know, Mama, I only have eyes for Wicken Bonhunt..."

And so on. You know, I should write a book where all the characters are named after places. Brooklyn and Paris nothing! Get ready for the great romance of Blo Norton and Cockayne Hatley!

Come chat with me, let's chat, let's chat away...

Come and chat with me today at Joyfully Reviewed's chat loop! Today is Vamp and Werewolf day, which is right up my alley. I'll be posting excerpts from my vamp and were books throughout the day, along with a load of other fantastic authors.

I am mostly evil

I am 57% Evil Genius.

Evil courses through my blood. Lies and deceit motivate my evil deeds. Crushing the weaklings and idiots that do nothing but interfere in my doings.

Take the
Evil Genius Test
@ FualiDotCom

Oh, and please buy my book. Or I'll send the evil henchmen after you.

Stuff

Not really a lot to say. Feeling wistful because I was watching Pride and Prejudice, which always makes me want to live in a sort of polite, beautiful, soft-focus world wherre all the frocks are pretty and I'm as thin as Keira Knightley.

Took the kittens to be microchipped, and now they're not talking to me. Figures.

Reading over Amelia Elias's Outcast, and feeling guilty because I really ought to be writing instead. Although I'm even getting distracted from the reading, because the cover is so pretty, see? Hope I get such pretty covers from Samhain. Go and buy the book, because it's Amelia's birthday, and she needs some consolation for being so old now.

Oh, and just for Lexxie (okay, and for me too):

Am trying to search my local libraries for Casanova; but there have been hundreds, and it's hard to tell which is which when the online catalogues don't show a cover...

Oh! And a final edit to add: look what I found! Remember I said on the first night in Atlanta we had dinner with Sherri Kenyon and Dianna Love Snell? Well, I finally found the picture the waitress took. It was on Leiha's blog. She's sitting, second from right. I'm next to her, in red. Behind me, R-L, the blonde is Dianna, the redhead Sherri, the brunette her assistant Erica) I may have spelt that wrong), and then Mich (ditto). The lady next to her and the girl seated, in green, your names escape me, I'm so sorry! In my defence I'd come straight off a 9hr flight and had been awake 24 hours. On the far left are my roomates Kendra, seated, and Amelia, standing.


I've been looking for this photo for ages: thanks Leiha!

Cat Welfare Society

Okey dokey, folks. Help an author in need! Roll up, roll up, for the Cat Welfare Society! (heh, d'you like that?)

You see, people, Cat isn't very bright. So caught up with the marvellous bargain of a weekend away for a hundred pounds that she, er, sort of forgot she didn't have a hundred pounds hanging around (wouldn't you love to be the sort of person who did? 'Oh, here's a hundred quid I just forgot about'. Nice). But! She's worked out, clever little thing that she is (did I just say she wasn't very bright? Well, she isn't, but she has a calculator) that if you buy 126 copies of Naked Eyes between Thursday and, er... whenever the credit card bill comes in, then the cost of the holiday is covered! 126, and that's all!



Of course, you may be concerned that Cat doesn't get enough to eat, wasting away she is, and so stressed by all the hard work of writing and promoting and thinking up steamy sex scenes (okay, how many words for 'penis' can you think of?) that she deserves some good food and a massage or two while she's there. Which would necessitate a few more copies sold. Say, another hundred? That's not very much to ask, is it? for an author who desperately needs a holiday? Just a tiny little break, not even leaving the country, to save her sanity and ensure many more naughty books?

I'll even toss in a picture of the hero of Naked Eyes, bad-boy pilot Jack Tremaine. Absolutely free!



(and yes, of course. I know there are actual cat welfare societies out there, for actual cats, with paws and whiskers and things. I'm extremely indebted to one of them, Cats Protection League, without whom I'd never have got my adored kitlets. So, joking about this Cat aside, support the four-legged kind too!)