There are no Cats in the USA

Kate Johnson:

HowManyOfMe.com

There are 354 people with my name in the U.S.A. How many have your name?

Cat Marsters:

HowManyOfMe.com

There are 0 people with my name in the U.S.A. How many have your name?

(Apparently, there is no one in America called Cat! No, surely not! Although there are 332 people called Marsters).

Sophie Green:

HowManyOfMe.com

There are 80 people with my name in the U.S.A. How many have your name?

Excerpt: East Side Story

Faeries and vampires hate each other. Everyone knows that. So why does Ruarc of the Unseelie have a vampire in his bed?

Maria knows she’s supposed to hate faeries, but she has no idea why. So far, Ruarc’s saved her life, fed her the most potent blood she’s ever tasted, and given her the best orgasm of her life.

But something’s after Ruarc, something dark and nasty, and it certainly isn’t going to let one fledgeling vampire stop it.



Since this excerpt is hot'n'spicy and not for general viewing, I'm linking you to the .doc format download on my website. Enjoy, and don't forget, if you want to win a free download of East Side Story, all you have to do is answer the question on my website...

Thursday Thirteen: Things about my Sundown series

Thirteen things about my Sundown series 1. When I started the first book, She Who Dares, I didn't intend it to be a series. Just a one-off story about a really snarky vampire living in London who fancied the guy she was supposed to be assassinating. 2. Then I gave her an agency (Sundown, Inc.) and a secretary who was a suit-and-pearls-wearing werewolf single mother, and just HAD to write about her. That became book two, Blue Moon. 3. I based Blue Moon's hero on Orlando Bloom, pretty much as he looks in Kingdom of Heaven. Hamana. Hamana. Hamana! 4. When I wrote What Wizards Want I spent ages researching Jamaican slang for the heroine. Then I cut most of it out, because I remembered how much I hate it when I read books about Scottish characters who say things like, "Dinnae fash yerself, lassie." I've lived in the UK all my life and never ever heard a Scottish person say any of those words. 5. Baby Sham Faery Love is the silliest book I've ever written but I was really nervous about it, because while I'd written a menage scene before, I didn't know if I could base a whole book and a whole relationship on these three people happily shacking up together. 6. The title and cover ideas for Baby Sham Faery Love came to me while listening to Gwen Stefani. I can't imagine why. 7. I've long believed that one of my biggest strengths as a writer is dialogue. I like writing it and I think it comes off well. To this end, I'm still not entirely sure what possessed me to write Never Leave Me, about a man who doesn't much like conversation and a girl with no voice. Still, it seemed to work okay; the book won an award and everything. 8. After watching too much Doctor Who and falling madly in love with David Tennant, I wanted to write about a time-traveller. But my editor told me time-travel stories sell really badly and advised me to write about werewolves some more. So I wrote Duty and the Beast, which features a werewolf heroine who doesn't believe in the paranormal, and an elf who bears a striking resemblance to a certain Timelord... 9. Writing DATB also allowed me to fantasise about ripping David Tennant's clothes off. Tough job I have. 10. Unholy Trinity was my shameless attempt at mixing in everything that seems to be popular with erotica readers in a bid to become financially solvent. Vampires? Check. Interracial? Check. Menage? Check, check, check. It was also the first time I allowed myself to write a hero called Jamie, which is one of my hands-down favourite names. 11. I still have no idea what possessed me to write a book about a siren in Las Vegas. But keen readers may note that the lion who makes a brief appearance in Maneater is a) white, b) very affectionate and c) called Spike. I should have given him a dippy sister called Sugar, but I felt I'd already rambled on about cats too much by then. 12. It took me a shamefully long time to come up with the title for East Side Story. I mean, come on. It's set in Manhattan (well, mostly), has lovers from two factions who hate each other, and the heroine is a Latina woman called Maria. And yet it took Bryan Adams's song of the same name to jolt me into the realisation that I really needed to use that title! 13. The next book will probably be about a faery changeling and an Australian werewolf called Adam. Or it might be about an incubus. I'm not really sure!

The purpose of the meme is to get to know everyone who participates a little bit better every Thursday. Visiting fellow Thirteeners is encouraged! If you participate, leave the link to your Thirteen in others comments. It's easy, and fun! Be sure to update your Thirteen with links that are left for you, as well! I will link to everyone who participates and leaves a link to their 13 things. Trackbacks, pings, comment links accepted!

Me-ee aa-and Widget, Widget Bones!

We got a thi-i-ing goin' o-o-on...

Um, okay. Vigilant readers may remember, way back in the dark ages, a Purple Prose Parody written by me and a certain Amelia Elias called Widget Bones's Diary. It was about, funnily enough, a Dark-Hunter named Widget Bones and was the bastard child of Amelia getting me into Sherrilyn Kenyon's books and me sending her Bridget Jones's Diary. And it was really, really silly. And it got sent to Sherrilyn. Who, instead of laughing and calling us silly twonks like a normal person would, decided she really liked it and wanted to put it in the Dark-Hunter Companion.

We thought this was amazing, but unlikely to come to pass. After all, not even the great SK gets total say over what goes into her books. But last night she emailed me to say it was definitely going ahead. Widget's going to be in the Companion!

<-- me about now

In other, completely unrelated news, I also got the new cover for the next Sundown book, East Side Story (I kept typing 'easy' there, tells you something huh?). See? Snaps to the brilliant Renee George for capturing Ruarc and Maria so perfectly!

Eight things about me

Kendra tagged me. Damn her!

Here are the rules:

1. Each player starts with eight random facts/habits about themselves.

2. People who are tagged need to write their own blog about their eight things and post these rules.

3. At the end of your blog, you need to choose eight people to get tagged and list their names.

4. Don't forget to leave them a comment telling them they're tagged, and to read your blog.

8 random facts/habits about me ...

1. I love sleeping. If anyone denies me my ten hours a night, I am a very cranky critter.

2. I've been vegetarian since I was six, but I hate mushrooms, aubergines, courgettes and avocados. They're just so slimy. Why do people insist onmaking vegetarian dishes with them? There are millions of other vegetables you could use instead!

3. I have a habit of naming pets after foodstuffs. So far we've had Honey, Candy, Sugar, and Pepper. Actually, my mum has a thing against giving animals human names, don't know why. Although I know I've read books where the heroines have had those names. All of them.

4. I spend way more time than is healthy at this computer. When I came back from two weeks away after the RWA conference in 2005, I came upstairs and gave my computer a big hug.

5. I spent five days away just before my birthday all by myself, and it was fabulous. Except I missed my cats so much I had to go and buy a little soft toy tiger to cuddle. True. His name is Roar.

6. I can't think of eight people to tag. Kendra already got a couple of my choices, damn her!

7. I'm such a big Buffy fan I named a character in each of my Sundown books after Buffy characters. When I grow up, I want to be Joss Whedon. Or at least Marti Noxon.

8. I am the whitest white girl in the world. Not only do I not tan, I don't even fake-tan. Regular fake tan is way too dark for me, and even after layers of Johnsons's Holiday Skin, I'm still only roughly the same colour as a normal person in the depths of winter. Sigh!

I am tagging... Amelia, Sybir, Kate D., Julie, Michele, Dakota, and Alysia (and ohmyGod, Alysia, your Space is making me SO hungry!), which is only seven but I can't think of anyone else.

Ugley Business cover

Subtitled: SQUEEEE!

I LOVE this cover. I was sent a draft aaaages ago but it's not official until today. Isn't it pretty? It's so purple! Sophie loves being so skinny. Luke loves his gun. All in all, we're pretty happy!

Very little going on

...I'm trying to think of something to say about the last week. Um. Pepper has grown at an amazing rate--she'll soon be as big as me--and continues to be both adorable and annoying. I think God makes puppies cute so you'll forgive them all the crying and pooping. Much like babies. Only honestly, I prefer puppies.


Here's Pepper facing down Spike. Really, I think he was just sitting there to tease her: "Look, I've got the run of the house AND my own special-sized door AND the humans let me sleep on their beds, and you have to live in the kitchen, so nerrr!"

Um. Oh! I finished Sophie book seven, titled Dead To Rights. And I've been trying to think of promo items I can take with me to conference. Of course, the problem with promo is the speculate-to-accumulate dilemma. I haven't accumulated enough to be able to speculate yet...

Thursday Thirteen: Headlines from 2012

Thirteen headlines from 2012 1. Wills and Colleen to wed! Prince William announced today his engagement to Colleen McLoughlin, former girlfriend of Manchester United and England striker Wayne Rooney. Rooney is said to be devastated and too depressed to play football any more. "I might take up ping-pong though," he said. Other reactions came from Buckingham Palace, where the Queen is said to have asked why her son was marrying Princess Fiona from the seven Shrek movies; and Kate Middleton, who was heard to mutter, "They never asked me to be on the cover of American Vogue." 2. Olympic Stadium set to be finished by 2025 The Sir David Beckham Stadium is set to be finished ahead of schedule in 2025. Critics have pointed out that it ought have been finished in time for the Olympics in London this year, but Mayor Ken Livingstone responded that he only heard of the Olympics for the first time seven years ago, "and how long do you think it takes to build a stadium anyway?" 3. Harry Potter and the Unemployment Centre released in July! The tenth book in the series follows Harry as he prepares to leave Wandsticks University and finds that a 2-1 in Applied Magic won't get him far in the job market. Now poor Harry is faced with mounting debts from his multi-million-galleon education, not to mention trying to support the wand-weilding twins resulting from his affair with Ginny Weasley and trying to write a best man speech for Ron and Hermione's wedding. 4. Petrol prices in the UK hit £10/gallon "I remember back in 2007 when it passed £4 a gallon," said Larry Driver of Epping, "and we all thought that was monstrous. I can't believe it still costs less than a quid in America. What, do they just pull it out of the ground over there?" The price hike comes after a 400% tax is placed on all car products. The price of an average family car is now higher than the average family home. 5. Salt declared a Class A drug From July, anyone found in possession of a full gram of salt could face ten years in jail, with suppliers getting lifetime imprisonment. "The problem is that it's so easy to make," said Doctor Nannystate, a government research scientist. "We have massive communities of salt-addicts living by the sea, just boiling water to get salt. It's become a huge problem and we just don't have the police-power to deal with it." 6. Another cigarette-related explosion Since smoking was outlawed anywhere on land in Britain, there have been increasing numbers of boat thefts and explosions on off-shore oil rigs as smokers take to the seas to fuel their habit. "What with them and the salt-fiends, the seaside has become an incredibly dangerous place to raise children," said Soho Davis, MP for Dunwich. 7. Keira Knightley piles on the pounds As competition mounts to find the perfect actress to play inept spy Sophie Green from Kate Johnson's best-selling novels, actresses across the UK and Hollywood try to prove their suitability. "It's the role of a lifetime," Keira says. "I've been following Renee Zellweger's Bridget Jones diet of pizza and Guinness and I hope this gives me the right look to play Sophie." Critics have expressed concern that the actress may be piling on too many pounds. "We don't want her to join the obesity epidemic," said celebrity chef Sir Jamie Oliver. But others have condemned the character for not being fat enough. "She's a UK size twelve," says Aunty Zero, a teen magazine agony aunt. "That puts her dangerously close to the size zero that is so very unhealthy. We're advising teenage girls that anything less than a size sixteen is bowing to peer pressure." 8. Geography lessons abolished In accordance with government guidelines on offensive terms, many schools are now scrapping their Geography curriculum. "It's just too difficult to teach a class without using the word 'Asian'" said Pansy Blackman, a London teacher, "which was banned last month in case it incited religious hatred." Other words on this week's banned list include black, white, yellow, colour, gay, pansy, straight, thin, fat, ugly, woman, man, female, male, and carbohydrate, which after tomorrow will carry a £1,000 on-the-spot fine for useage. "We think our Art lessons might have to be scrapped too," said the teacher, who from now on will be known as Liberty Bland, "and it doesn't look good for Biology, either." 9. Kate Johnson slowest ever Star in a Reasonably Priced Car. The best-selling author this week made history as the slowest ever driver to make it round the Top Gear test track. "She was slower than the blind man," says former presenter Jeremy Clarkson, now imprisoned for inciting radical anti-green behaviour such as driving a car faster than 30mph. "She stalled three times on the Hammerhead. Of course, since they won't allow any vehicle that doesn't run on sustainable electricity, she was limited with her acceleration, but even so it was pretty damn slow." Says Johnson, "I don't know how the hell I managed to stall the Reasonably Priced Milk Float. It doesn't even have a clutch." 10. Green baby for Angelina and Brad Following the discovery that food-colouring can be injected into sperm cells, Brad and Angelina Pitt-Jolie are delighted to announce that they will be giving birth to the world's first green baby. "We're just so delighted," cooed Angelina, surrounded by her seven adopted children. "I wanted to create a rainbow family, but I just wasn't satisfied with the rather shabby choice of colours available in nature. And green is so the colour of the moment." Says Brad, "I'm delighted of course, but I have to say it was weird having green sperm." 11. Woman wins right to wear clothes on plane Following last year's security restrictions prohibiting all non-essential footwear, clothing and hair on board aircraft, Godiva Loveit from Bristol today won a landmark case against the ruling. Ms Loveit, who suffers from deep vein thrombosis, has been allowed to wear support socks on board the plane, provided she screens them separately in a clear plastic bag and carries a doctor's prescription with her. "I'm just so glad," she said yesterday on the courthouse steps. "Although I know I'll have to face people who think all clothed passengers are terrorists." 12. Antique skis displayed in V&A The Victoria and Albert museum today announced their acquisition of one of the last pairs of skis in the world. "It's so strange to think that a mere five years ago, people would strap these things to their feet and go hurtling down mountains," said the museum's curator. Overheard in the lobby, one child asked his parents, "What's all that white stuff covering the mountains?" 13. Heather to remarry The world's richest divorcée, Heather Mills-McCartney-Jagger-Windsor, announced today that she is to marry the Sultan of Brunei next year. "He's not as rich as I am," she said, "but what does that matter when you're in love?" She is said to be planning a double wedding with her former son-in-law, Prince William, but his fiancée is not keen. "She might change her mind and run off with Wills," said Colleen, "and we can't have that: Woolworths have already started selling Wills'n'Colleen commemorative plates."

The purpose of the meme is to get to know everyone who participates a little bit better every Thursday. Visiting fellow Thirteeners is encouraged! If you participate, leave the link to your Thirteen in others comments. It's easy, and fun! Be sure to update your Thirteen with links that are left for you, as well! I will link to everyone who participates and leaves a link to their 13 things. Trackbacks, pings, comment links accepted!

Why Sophie Green and Emma Woodhouse are so alike

They both sold less than thirty copies to start with.

All right, they're both interfering women who can be quite bright but suffer from occasional roadblocks of stupidity. They somehow inspire wonderful men to fall in love with them. They're brave and loyal. They like to see their friends happy.

I'm not sure Gwyneth Paltrow could ever play Sophie, though...

Happy St George's Day!

Less well known than his Irish cousin, cooler though, I think. Killed dragons and all that. Although apparently he was Turkish. Anyway. It's also Shakespeare's birthday, very selfish of him to be born in April when it's too cold for the Globe to really put on a proper celebration. Could celebrate his deathday instead, but it's the same day. Rotten day to die, eh?

Not much to report. Pepper continues to be a) cute and b) hard work. Swear she's doubled in size. Am working on Sophie book seven (seven! And it's nearly done, too). Trying to figure out a way to get to San Francisco for RWA next year. Just sent off my registration for the RNA conference this year (bit easier to get to, Leicester). Had an eye test today, apperently don't need new glasses although my prescription has all these new things on it that weren't there before. Went out on Saturday to my first hen party--well, actually a hen meal, very civilised, even if the hen was wearing red glittery L plates. Decided really need to go on a diet, and then Mum brought back two bars of Toblerone from Copenhagen.

This stream of consciousness brought to you by Kate Johnson.

Thirteen fabulous things about where I live 1. The pair of shoes hanging over the power cable across the high street in town. Been there for months. Think they were once from the bowling alley. 2. My village is damn pretty. Listed in the Magna Carta of 1215, I'm also pretty sure it was in the Domesday Book, too. 3. This pretty village has seven pubs (no longer eight, alas! One was bought by an evil property developer, bah!) for a population of about 6,000. 4. We also have five churches. I think. So, you can drink and repent without having to go very far. 5. My uncle was astonished at this when he visited from Sheffield: that random people you pass by in the street, especially older people, will smile and say, "Good morning!" All the old people he meets (he's a bus driver) are apparently miserable buggers. But then if I'd lived in Sheffield for seventy years, I'd be miserable too. 6. The climate. I dunno if this is airport-related or what, but we have such a mild climate here--and it's a total microclimate, too. I got stuck in a terrible rainstorm a few miles away once and ended up turning back after six miles, to find it was dry as a bone here. 7. Ah yes, the airport. Love it, hate it (and generally I hate it), you can't deny that having an international airport on your doorstep is a useful thing. I mean, how many medieval villages have international airports? 8. In about five minutes, I can be walking in fields of gold. 9. In about two minutes, walking, I can buy milk, bread, newspapers, wine, chocolate and a wonderful variety of crisps. 10. Ten minutes walk to the station, and under an hour to London. Yeah, I usually bitch about this, because seriously, an hour to go 36 miles? but an hour to the world's greatest capital is still pretty decent. 11. It's really easy to tell people where I live. For people in the UK, I tell them it's near Stansted airport. For everyone else, it's just north of London (except for that bartender who thought 'north of London' meant 'Scotland'). 12. I get Broadband (although it took its damn time). 13. It's flat (mostly). Me and hills are unmixy things.

The purpose of the meme is to get to know everyone who participates a little bit better every Thursday. Visiting fellow Thirteeners is encouraged! If you participate, leave the link to your Thirteen in others comments. It's easy, and fun! Be sure to update your Thirteen with links that are left for you, as well! I will link to everyone who participates and leaves a link to their 13 things. Trackbacks, pings, comment links accepted!

Wordless Wednesday: A few of my favourite things

Do I blog about David Tennant too much?

Ska-wee!

I finalled in the Passionate Plume contest! This is held by the Passionate Ink chapter of the RWA to celebrate the best in erotic romance--and I'm one of five finalists in the Futuristic/Fantasy/Sci-fi category with Almost Human. Again!

In other news, Pepper is now comfortable enough in the house to doze in the kitchen while we watched Doctor Who from Saturday night. David Tennant ('crazy, but a little magnificent') in a futuristic traffic jam so insane it takes six years to travel six miles--in the fast lane. Have I mentioned lately how much I love David Tennant? No? I love David Tennant!