Tuesday, April 09, 2013

Who’s the sexiest robot?

A guest post today, on a very important subject.

Electra Shepherd is the pseudonym for an award-winning, bestselling romance/women's fiction author. She enjoys travelling, reading, and extreme Lego.

Oh, I do so love Sundays, when I tuck myself up in my eco-dome, put on my favourite tinfoil hat, and consider the vital question of Who Is The Sexiest Robot?

If you google ‘sexy robot’ you get quite a few hits, but they tend to be overwhelmingly about the sort of shiny big-breasted fembot who wears very little but a rubber bikini (or you might end up with this real-life abomination.

Essentially, they’re male-fantasy sex toys. (Number Six from Battlestar Galactica and Seven of Nine from Star Trek: Voyager are exceptions, as they have actual interesting personalities as well as killer bodies.) While these are fine, in a very very obvious and unimaginative way, personally, I prefer my sexy robots to be male, or possibly adrogynous, and to have definite character traits.

C3PO & R2D2
I suppose my earliest robot crush was on R2D2 and C3PO. Whilst they’re not exactly anatomically correct, it’s easy to imagine that they might have some spare attachments somewhere to help out. Mostly, though, the attractive part about these two is the fine love/hate bromance they’ve got going on. They would make a great M/M couple, don’t you think?

Some of my friends confess to lusting after Transformers, notably Optimus Prime and Bumblebee. Myself, I worry about the multi-function parts. What if something went wrong and mid-coitus you found yourself with a huge lorry on top of you, thrusting away? That could be very painful indeed; at the very least you’d get tyre marks.

As far as Terminators go, the reprogrammed T-800 from Terminator 2 is pretty damn sexy: fiercely protective, good with a gun, super-strong and inexhaustible. Unfortunately he looks like Arnold Schwarzenegger, but you can’t have everything I suppose. His nemesis, the T-1000, whilst evil, has some definite sexual possibilities, what with being able to melt and reform into any shape. But y’know…evil.

VCG-60L...er, does he have a name?
There are some robots I’m very fond of, but which aren’t really sexy as such. Marvin the Paranoid Android is fine, especially when he’s got Alan Rickman’s voice, but physically…meh. GERTY in Moon, who sounds like Kevin Spacey, is a sympathetic robot with a conscience but a) he expresses emotion with smiley faces and b) he’s attached to the ceiling. Jude Law’s Joe in AI is probably the least sexy gigolo I’ve ever seen. I haven’t seen Robot and Frank yet, but I’m guessing it’s heart warming and quirky rather than an all-out sexbot fest. Worse luck.

I’ve noticed that my favourite sexy robots are quite human in appearance, but they have certain quirks in behaviour that mark them out as something other. I enjoy the mechanical parts of them, but what I like best is how they both struggle with and revel in being different. Data is probably my all-time favourite, but a close second is David from Prometheus. Something about their ultra-precise speech and movements, their vast intelligence and lightning-quick grasp of every situation, their unassuming appearance which belies incredible strength…

Oh yeah, baby. That does it for me.

Who’s your favourite sexy robot? 

Electra’s latest book, MAN OR MACHINE, is out 5th of April with Ellora’s Cave. Book 2 of the BODY ELECTRIC series, it’s a funny romantic erotic novella about a computer geek who builds herself a sexy robot companion…and then discovers her ex-boyfriend hidden in her wardrobe with a remote control. 

Buy Electra’s ebooks from her publisher: Ellora’s Cave
Buy her books on: Amazon.co.uk 
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  1. And Data likes cats, which is an obvious point in anyone's favour.

    I often wondered what the Buffybot's male counterpart would be like. A Spikebot? Hubba hubba!

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