Tuesday, June 20, 2006

Here is a stick

Please, don't take the wrong end.

I just came back from a walk to the next village to post a letter. It's hot, my jeans were too heavy and my makeup melted in.

Please, don't get offended by this. I have to walk to the next village because the letter is going abroad, so needs a stamp I don't usually carry, and my local post office closed down a while ago because people kept robbing it. But I'm not blaming those people. Or the Post Office, for closing it. Or for deciding that it's more expensive to send a letter to Finland than to somewhere in my own country. Nor am I boasting, or complaining, that I know someone in Finland.

I'm also not bitching about the fact I was walking. It's only a couple of miles, an hour and a half round trip, and I thought I could use the exercise. This is not because I'm moaning about my weight, because I don't think I'm a horribly fat cow. Nor am I saying there's anything wrong with being fat. I mean, plus-sized.

Now the weather. It was 26C when I left the house. I know not everyone uses metric measures and that there are advantages and disadvantages to both systems, so I'll explain that 26C is about 79F. Please understand, also, that to consider 26C to be hot is my own personal opinion. I know there are much hotter places in the world, and that people have to do much harder things in them than just go for a walk. And, of course, I could have driven there, with the airconditioning on. But to drive there would be to disregard the environmental and political associations of burning fossil fuels.

Jeans. Should I have continued to wear them? Is it unfair of me to complain about them being too hot when I was already aware of the outside temperature? I didn't get changed, because my shorter, capri-length jeans are in the wash and my linen capris are too pale and would show the underwear I was wearing. I could have changed my underwear, but then I'd be wasting water, washing an extra item, which would be thoughtless. Also, wearing something shorter would display my legs which are pale and need to be shaved. Of course, pale legs are not a bad thing. Suntanning is, of course, dangerous and thoughtless, and I should always be aware of the implications of complaining about being white. I'm not racist. Also, there are the feminist concerns over shaving my legs. Is it pure vanity to do this? Who am I shaving them for? Isn't it unnatural to do so? I didn't want to offend someone with the unsightly hairs on my legs, but then I didn't want to offend someone who was against leg-shaving, either. I know some people are traumatised by beards--again, that's not a personal judgement, I have nothing against beards, or the lack of, it's okay if you can't grow one--so maybe hairy legs might be traumatic to some people, too?

I could have worn shorts, but I don't feel my legs look very attractive in shorts. This is concerning, however, as I know that looks aren't important compared to the personality underneath, and that even the largest person has a valid right to wear whatever they like. As long as it's not in an inappropriate place, where showing too much skin might be considered offensive to a religious group's beliefs.

And the makeup. Once again, it's vanity and my own ego. I wear makeup to cover the adult acne on my face because I feel insecure about it. As someone younger than my peers in my chosen profession, I find it hard to be taken seriously and being afflicted with a condition more common to teenagers exacerbates that. I also just don't like the sight of it. It's extremely shallow of me to cover up my acne, because there are a lot of teenagers out there who don't and are very self-conscious about it. Often they feel they can't wear makeup because they're male, but that's gender stereotyping and I don't wish to be seen as sexist, because I believe that it doesn't matter which sex you are. Also, that it's unfair to dismiss acne as unattractive because it has no bearing on the personality of the person who has it. Except for in a psychological sense, because it can boost insecurities as it is perceived as unattractive.

I was going to add that I'm driving to a friend's house to join her at her local pub to watch the football because the barman there is hot, but I've already written seven paragraphs about my walk, and there's just no way I can explain my evening without offending anyone's beliefs or sensibilities, maligning any individuals, groups, majorities or minorities, races, countries or personality types, or implying something I have no intention of.

I hope no one was offended by this blog, and that if I inadvertently expressed an opinion which you may find in opposition to your own beliefs, that you will explain to me why, in detail, I am wrong and you are right. If my response isn't to your satisfaction, I believe it is your right and duty to post details on your own blog, and henceforth refuse to ever visit here again. In addition, it is also expected that you will boycott all my books, publishers, and books written by other authors linked on this blog, and other books published by their publishers, in the event that they contain opinions which may also be offensive to you, whether or not you have already purchased, or intended to purchase, the books in the first place.

Thank you.


  1. LMAO! Okay, I'm offended. *grin* Damn, you're a funny girl.

  2. Well, people laugh at me a lot, for sure.

  3. I now refuse to buy any of your books because...uh...

    Screw it, I like your writing!

  4. LOL! I love a good bit of satire.