Approximately Human

They used to have this column in the Times Magazine on Saturdays where a famous saying, speech or whatever, would be put through an online translator into some other language, then back into English. Honestly, it was like reading those t-shirts printed up in Japan.

So in the spirit of learning and entertainment (trans: it's bloody funny and I love to procrastinate), I'm going to do the same with a couple of my book blurbs. You can tell where the translator just stalled over certain phrases (because they're the ones which are untouched). Greek was fun: all those funky characters!


She Who Dares, to Greek and back (couldn't find an Egyptian translator, but Dare is Greek, so that'll do).
There are nights when does I serious wish I'd never rise from the grave.

Undead executioner they are One thing , but when does the Guy I'm provision to kill turn Outside To have the blue eyes and yummiest butt I've seen since the fall of the Greek empire ( which incidentally was the last time saw him ), I start To have second thoughts.

He nice himself to dare , and that's it not as soon as his incomparable hotness that's all stalling me. twenty three century before my sign existent in the pharaoh and my heart upon One soldier. both of the them betrayed me. this was sole to dare who tried upon to rescue me.

This who to dare

Because serious , who sleep means One coffee this days?


What Wizards Want, to Welsh and back (see above re: no Irish translator, but Welsh came from the same root, and is also a seldom-used second official language. Plus, ain't much sea between them).

Five y were penetrating You Never Knew About Wizards

1. You wave ' tower need he is being able tea proper crusts mantle - type props he may cover I come real bags. Although y were penetrating flour get kind smith interesting when you improvise.

2. You would clarify below no wizard full smith jolly hyme and spills. You get pushed to to tea deep end and only tea really lucky honest get I go let him become night plug.

3. Like wizards. Tea same way hey were depressing humans like pack she-mull except web ' stud way kinder he may cover pack she-mull.

4. Web ' stud dot immune he may cover I go shapely female form although sadly , dot ace available ace I ' heartburn like.

5. Sometimes — just sometimes — web get y were penetrating wron. And when web I come , tea results flour be spectacular.

How e pirate queens have you freed lately?


Elf Gratification, to Swedish and back:

Calascien keeper perceive Truly reindeer isn't too happy to hear that his boss ice about to pray replaced. Ago keep one's cool thing he peer the old Truly. Ago another the new Truly ice the silliest , sexy , aunt annoyance young blonde he's ever met. How's an elf supporter to concentrate when his boss keeps dressing invite peer Truly A bit Stripped?

Candy Cinnamon isn't particularly pleased to pray abducted pious her life as a Hollywood husband artist duck tip in the noon perceive Nowhere Lapland. Ago a take-off everyone seems to pray really stoned : truly Elves? What are they smoking? Then there's the guy assigned to keep an eye on her : the aunt arrogant annoying deluded husband there's ever been.

But if he could fair goat it into his head that he's note an elf duck she's note Truly then she might take-off to find him gentle attractive. In a lunatic kind perceive way.


Fun, huh? Okay, one more. Almost Human...now, what language to pick? I know, Tagalog!


Bell journal. me are chance , knight of the order of the Phoenix , woman of the association.

Me trainer as a Phoenix knight because I'm condemn beneficial in a fight. me trainer as an associate because I'm condemn beneficial in bed. but all the training in the monarchy couldn't prepare me for dark man so potent sexy me can't keep my underwear toward in its presence.

It's a shame , then , thatch dark seem toward have different plan for my body—for sample , kill it.

Approximately Human

Love possible possible murder




I am so never going to get tired of 'Approximately Human'. Hah!