Oh, Christmas tree, oh Christmas tree...?

How lovely are your branches? "Well, not particularly lovely, actually I spend most of the year dismantled, stuffed in a box and shoved in the garage. So I always smell kind of musty. Plus I'm shedding a bit. Still, I don't fall apart like a real tree..."


We used to get a real tree every year, and since Christmas Day is my brother's birthday, we always got one the same height as him. Trouble is, when a tree is in the ground it's significantly shorter than it is once it's been potted. And when said brother grew to be 6'2", the ceiling just wasn't high enough. Plus, every year we had to buy a new Hoover because sucking up all those pine needles every day just killed it. And it had to be done every day, because the cats thought it was their personal playground...


Anyway. Fake tree installed, along with the little fiberoptic one (I can't spell that, can I?) in the sitting room (perched well back on a chest of drawers where Pepper can't, with any luck, reach it). And, new for this year, the miniature pink tree with the white feather lights, which was in the sitting room but which offended my brother's masculine eyes (the neighbours might think he was gay or something!), so has been relocated to the piano room where it can be seen from the road, but won't offend his manly heterosexual eyes. (And yes, we have a piano room; it was billed as a dining room but it's too small for a dining table--God knows who built this house--so it's been variously used as a bedroom, office, study and reading room. However, due to its intensely heavy nature, the piano has always been there).


Here's Spike helping me with the decorations. He and Sugar were totally disinterested last year, when they were only nine months old and I thought they'd cause havoc. This year, Mister Spike sat on the stairs--cats-eye view!--and helpfully showed me which bits of the tree and decorations were within batting or biting range for him. The tree's in the hall this year, out of Pepper's way. I know without being told that she would completely murder the tree, given half the chance, and the presents under it too.

Have you got your tree up yet? Or don't you bother?