Or is she? Well, probably not. Ever since Buffy the Vampire Slayer went off the air in 2003 (an event I recorded on video and refused to let anybody tell me about until I'd watched it, whereupon I wandered around in shock going, "But how could they??") rumours of a comeback have abounded. A Spike spin-off. A Giles spin-off. A Dawn spin-off (youch). A Faith spin-off. In fact, name a character, and a spin-off has been mooted. Everyone apart from Angel, who of course got his own spin-off, which was cancelled a year after Buffy ended. Rumours of a comeback usually fall in the Salt, Pinch Of category.
Today brings, as do so many other days, news of a possible Buffy movie. Forgetting, of course, that there already was one in 1992, from which the series eventually came. The news report I read today had an interesting twist, however: that Buffy could return as a 'vengeful mother'. Seeking revenge on who, I wonder?
A more interesting question is this. Who's the father? At the end of the BTVS series, Buffy was still undecided between two beaux (a wise decision by the writers, since both had huge followings and a final rejection of either Spike or Angel might have led to violence at fan conventions). However, both her men were vampires, and according to the lore of the Buffyverse, vampires are technically dead: they have no body heat, no bloodflow, and therefore are as capable of fathering a child as a corpse.
However--again--in Angel the series, Angel does manage to father a child with a fellow vampire. How? I'm not sure, and I don't think Angel was either. Magic was suggested (that's the great thing about paranormals: when all else fails, it's explained by magic).
So, maybe, Buffy could have had a baby by either Spike or Angel. After all, in the final few episodes of the series, she had a passionate on-screen kiss with Angel, but also shared a bed (platonically? We have no idea) with Spike. Then Spike got turned to dust, reanimated as a ghost haunting Angel's office, and Buffy relocated to Rome with her little sister. A great place to hide away! Spike and Angel did try to track her down in Italy, but failed.
But as I mentioned above, picking either one of Buffy's favourite vampires to be the father of her child would be a bad idea. And, of course, being the brainchild of Joss Whedon, whoever actually was the father would probably have to die a horrible death in order to be avenged, and I'm not sure either Angel or Spike could stand to be killed--again. Buffy's had other beaux, of course, some of them even human. My money would be on a liaison in Rome, possibly even a marriage, that ended tragically.
The big question, however, is this. Is all this conjecture a bit, well, useless? Should sleeping characters be left to lie? Buffy et al have been so comprehensively written about, blogged about, fanficced and mythologised that Buffy and her friends have already had a million futures mapped out for them. Do we ever need a sequel? Isn't it enough that Buffy ended her screen life happily, with grace and dignity?
Should we ever bring back characters after their happily-ever-after?
Who am I kidding. The really big question is this: Since actors age and vampires don't, could either David Boreanaz or James Marsters ever feature in a Buffy screen future? And would either of them, perchance, be shirtless?
(fan images from fanpop.com)