Kate's top ten writing conference survival tips

As I may have mentioned, I've recently returned from the RNA's annual conference. Next week, I believe it's the RWA's turn. Although I'm not attending RWA this year, I've been four times before, and seven times to the RNA. So, here are my top tips on conference survival...

1. Shoes.

Romantic novelists are obsessed with shoes. There, I've said it. I even put it as number one. All right, so some of it is my fault, for turning up to my first RNA do in purple satin diamante heels (pause for sigh of nostalgia) and a sort of escalation whereby I wore sillier creations every time I met my writer friends. At most events, the first thing people say to me is, "Show me your shoes!" I mean, it really is. Not even "Hello," or "You look hungover." The RNA blog has a whole post on conference shoes.

However. There is a lot of walking and standing to do at these things. The RNA conferences are much smaller, but the RWA events are freaking massive and you can walk for miles in those hotel conference centres. I'm not exaggerating. In Washington DC the hotel was so huge it would take me twenty minutes to get from my room to some of the workshops. That's a mile (and I'm actually a pretty fast walker).

My RNA conference gala dinner shoes. I loves them, my precious...

So. Take some pretty shoes. But don't feel you have to wear them all the time. My advice? Put a pair of flats in your bag and use them for most of your walking around. You know, like in Working Girl (only maybe a bit prettier). In this, ballerina shoes are your friend. I have some devilishly pretty ones and they've saved my feet more times than I can count. Also, don't underestimate those gel inserts for the ball of your foot, and take plenty of sticking plasters, especially if you're out walking in the heat (more on that later).

But please don't just wear sensible shoes. It makes me sad when I see people wearing shoes that are just sensible, and not any sort of fun. Not even coloured, or with any decoration. It makes your feet sad, too. That's why they hurt, you know.

2. Clothes

Wear them. Haha. No, okay, let's be serious. I'm not going to tell you what to wear, give you a packing list that contains things I don't even own (capris and a cute shirt--give me a break). The first conferences I went to, I was 23 and terrified of not being taken seriously. I dressed up way more than was necessary. I had a natty little pink tweed suit, it was adorable, I felt like Lady Penelope from Thunderbirds (and about as natural). I didn't feel like myself. After that, I started wearing clothes that felt more, well, like me. Okay, I admit I spend quite a large portion of my day in pyjamas, and after that it's some variation on jeans and a t-shirt. I'd go a little fancier than that for a public appearance.

Because don't forget: this IS a public appearance. Wherever you are on the scale of first-unpublished-draft to multi-published author, you're going to these events because this is something you're taking seriously as a career. You're meeting other authors, publishing professionals such as editors, agents, booksellers and librarians, and quite probably a fair few members of the public. And think carefully about those members of the public. When they see you cross the lobby of the Marriott, proudly wearing your RWA namebadge, do you want them to think, "Hey that woman looks like a slob. I never thought much of romance writers in the first place," or "Hey that woman looks stylish and professional. Maybe romance writers aren't as stupid as I'd thought." Up to you.

3. Hair and make-up

See above re: clothes. It's really the same principle as above. Respect the people you're meeting and don't turn up looking like you've just fallen out of bed. Or like you're going out clubbing.

Oh, and go easy on the perfume. Two thousand women in one room all wearing clashing scents is enough to bring on a real attack of the vapours. But don't, I beg you, go easy on the deodorant.

4. Climate

This is a funny one, because these conferences are usually held in summer, and as anyone on this side of the Pond knows, we haven't had one here in Blighty. I travelled to Penrith this year in my old brown boots, with a rainproof cape in my suitcase pocket. And an umbrella. And a winter jumper. I used them all.

However, RWA conferences tend to be held in much warmer climates. The first one I went to was in Reno, in July. They might as well have held it on the sun. This year it's in Anaheim, not known for its drizzle. So if you're attending, and you intend to poke your head out of doors, wear clothes that'll keep you cool, and remember the sunscreen.

Thank God I remembered the sunscreen in DC...

And remember that these huge hotels are airconditioned to within an inch of their lives. I mean you could freeze water in some of these venues. So maybe a jacket or cardigan, or your faithful winter jumper, might be a good idea.


5. Stationery

Take a notepad. A big one. And several pens. You will take LOTS of notes.

Did I mention pens? When you meet your absolute favourite author and pluck up the courage to ask her to autograph your absolute favourite book, don't expect her to have a pen. She might not have read my advice.

Business cards. You should have some. They don't have to be fancy, you can get perfectly decent ones from Vistaprint for not very much at all, but they should have your name, pen name if you have one, and maybe some kind of note about what sort of books you write. "Jane Bloggs, author of historical romance" is just fine. Your email must go on there, and blog or website address if you have one. If you tweet, consider adding that. Phone number is up to you. I hate talking on the phone so rarely give out my number, but that's just me. Remember if you're going transatlantic to put the international dialling code on there too (if you have a British phone number, it's +44, and you drop the first zero, ie: instead of 01234 567890 it's +44 1234 567890).

6. Goody bags

A two-parter, this one. If you're promoting your books you might want to put something in the goody bag/room (at the RNA the bags are pre-stuffed, at the RWA you get a pre-stuffed bag when you check in, plus there's a whole room full of goodies). I've got several bags of stuff I've brought back from conference and never looked at again. Paper goods tend to get left behind--by which I mean postcards, bookmarks, etc. People want something they can use, so pens are ever-popular, but it can get expensive.

Try to be imaginative with what you donate to the goody bags. The best things are more expensive, of course, and if you can get your publisher to sort them out then you're laughing. I've done pens, chocolates, and teabags. There are always some left over, but you know what, I use pens, eat chocolate, and drink tea, so it's not a total loss. And remember, this stuff is tax-deductible.

The other thing is that you're also going to be receiving one of these bags. Remember that when you're packing your suitcase. I'd advise taking a bigger case than you need on the outbound journey. You can of course ship things home if it all gets too much, but man that's expensive, especially if you've ended up with loads of free books. And you will end up with loads of free books. I had 40 from my first RWA conference. Yes, 40.

I take my own bag...in which I keep my flats, because HAVE YOU SEEN MY SHOES?

The good part (apart from the free books) is that these bags are usually pretty substantial, and since you'll end up carrying a lot around--notepad, pens, business cards, flat shoes, conference notes which, boy howdy, were a foolscap booklet an inch thick last time I looked--you'll have a decent shoulderbag in which to do it.


7. Food and drink

RNA conferences are fully catered, but you still need to let them know in advance if you have a special diet, which means everything from vegetarian to 'I only eat peas'. RWA conferences, on the other hand, only cater a couple of meals, usually a keynote luncheon and an awards luncheon, and maybe a dessert reception for the Ritas. Serving two thousand people is a slow business, and you'll have to tell the staff about seven times before they stop putting a plate of chicken down in your vegetarian place setting. Quite often, I am sorry to tell you, instead of chicken and vegetables, you'll get vegetables and vegetables. There is often one 'special diet' meal for everyone from vegetarian to 'I only eat peas'. So try and get a good breakfast, or do what I do and take cereal bars to munch on.

Gala dinner, RNA conference Greenwich 2010

The rest of your meals will probably come from hotel restaurants, which are usually pretty comprehensive, and open all day. Or depending on the location, there are probably shops and delis you can get supplies from (such as milk for your tea: see below).

You might get a refrigerator in your room for milk & soft drinks, or for vodka if you prefer. I'd advise a little bottle you can keep in your bag, to refill with water. You'll be talking a lot, and getting really thirsty.

If you're British and you're going to America and you want to drink tea, take your own. And a kettle. American hotel rooms have coffee makers, which are lousy for tea.

At RNA conferences, we're legendary for our wine consumption. The bar often runs out, and we have kitchen parties, like students. So take some wine with you, and anything else you fancy like chocolate or crisps, because there probably won't be a shop on site.

At RWA conferences, everyone drinks Coke or iced tea. Maybe a margarita in the evening. Us British winos are a minority. Just sayin'.

8. Pitching books

I'll put this right out there: desperation stinks. I've heard of editors being pitched books while they're trying to go to the toilet. It's not the time, people. If you find yourself in close proximity to an editor you want to impress, engage her in conversation some other way (I was once told the best opening line is: "Can I buy you a drink?"). Get her to remember you in a good way, not as "that crazy bitch who shoved her manuscript under the toilet cubicle", so that when you send her your query letter, you can say, "You may remember meeting me at the RWA conference in Anaheim." She might not remember you, but then again she might, and you want that memory to be along the lines of "Yes, she seemed friendly and professional, I'd like to work with her."

Don't shove your book at editors and agents. Don't take copies of your manuscript to conference. Don't launch into a prepared pitch, unless you are, of course, at an appointment to do just that. If you are, find a short 'elevator pitch' way to describe your book, and be prepared to just chat about it. Trust me, if you sell the book, you'll describe it to so many people, over and over, you'll be doing it in your sleep.


9. Workshops and sessions

There's a whole breadth of information on offer at these conferences, and it can get a little overwhelming. My first RWA conference, I was at workshops from 8am to 8pm some days. I was exhausted. Pick and choose, and if there's nothing you fancy or you're just too tired, go back to your room for some downtime. If you're as introverted as most authors, you'll probably need it after all that socialising.

Also, it's a bit late for this year, but if you're prone to jetlag (if you've never flown transatlantic before, why risk it?) try to arrive a day early, if you can afford it. If you find you're fresh as a daisy, you've always got extra time for sightseeing.

10. Have fun

That's the most important thing. Yes, this is a business, and yes, it's your career. Don't lose sight of that. But remember there are about a billion other careers which are easier and more secure than writing for a living. If you're not having fun, why are you doing it?

US Embassy & RNA party

So, yesterday was quite eventful. In search of that elusive ITIN number, I gathered all my pertinent bits of info and set off for the American Embassy in London with Fenella Miller, neither of us entirely sure what to expect. There are men with large guns all around the Embassy, and about a billion checkpoints and staff to tell you where to go and what to do. This is just as well since it's quite complicated. Pay attention, 007.

I started by asking the armed copper outside, as politely as I could, where I might need to go for the IRS department. He cheerfully directed me towards a woman who checked my ID, told me I'd need to surrender my phone and Kindle, and pointed me towards the US Citizen Services entrance. Inside this small, and noticeably separate building, just in front of the Embassy, was airport-style security. We were told we could leave our bags there if we wanted, not just our phones, with a numbered ticket to collect them later. The only impediment to getting through security was my amazing tendency to set off metal detectors. Off came my watch, my rings, my bracelet and necklace...and still I made the scanner bleep. I told them it was my magnetic personality. They didn't seem to find this quite as amusing as I did. Eventually one chap figured out it was the diadem-style spray of leaves in my hair that was causing the problem. Since I also had a dozen little butterfly clips holding it in place, this took quite a while to remove, and I was glad Fenella was there to help me!

So, tip no.1 if you're going to the Embassy: don't wear complex metal stuff in your hair. In fact, keep the metal about your person to a minimum. I was beginning to worry they were going to ask me to remove the underwiring from my bra.

Most of the Embassy staff were quite cheerful and friendly, not at all intimidating. Remember this is just a job to most of them. Be friendly and they'll be friendly back. My only surprise was that not all of the staff were American, as I'd expected--quite a few had English accents. We were directed around the side of the building, where yet more staff pointed us down some stairs to the IRS office. I'd been expecting a large place, possibly with quite a queue, but there was one desk with two chaps behind it. A nice man called Patrick looked over our forms for us.

The forms were filled out fine, he said, and he could certify copies of our passports. The only problem lay with the 'signed document from the witholding agent' ie the publisher. We'd both taken contracts, but Patrick showed us the correct wording, which went on to say, '...evidencing that an ITIN is required.' The contract fulfilled the first two criteria, but not the third. Nonetheless, with both forms and passport copies approved, he told us to get a letter pretty much stating verbatim what it said in the guidelines, and that an email or printout would be fine. We could then send this letter, the copy of the passport, and the completed W7 form back to the Embassy and they'd forward it on to the IRS. Just those three sheets of paper, he repeated. We didn't need to go back to the Embassy in person again.

So, tip no.2: A contract from the publisher isn't enough. You need something that explicitly states you need the ITIN:  "A signed letter or document from the withholding agent, on official letterhead, showing your name and evidencing that an ITIN is required to make distributions to you during the current tax year that are subject to IRS information reporting or federal tax withholding."

We didn't have to queue at any point (this could however have just been luck) and most of the time we spent in the Embassy was due to my repeatedly asking very simple questions over and over just to get the answers embedded in my skull. We left the IRS office, made a quick stop at the Ladies' where I fixed my hair, and retrieved our belongings from the security station. Job done. Well, nearly at any rate.

About five minutes' walk from Grosvenor Square is Oxford Street, and between the two are plenty of places to eat. I had a lovely risotto at Bella Italia, then it was back on the Tube (down Oxford Street, turn right and Bond Street Station is a few minutes away) towards the Institute of Mechanical Engineers and the RNA Summer Party.

One final tip no. 3: Marble Arch is the closest and easiest Tube stop. Pause a moment before you exit the station and you'll see a sign which not only tells you which exit to take for the US Embassy, but also how to get there once you're out in the open. In case it's not there, take the Park Lane (East) exit and walk straight ahead. Take the fourth turning on the left onto Upper Brook Street. You'll see the Embassy, guarded by men with guns and festooned with flags, on your right. Just in case you don't, it's the third turning on the right. Most of the men with guns are quite nice really, and will probably tell you where you need to go.

After this it was fabulous to get to the IMechE for the RNA Summer Party, where as usual there was great company and wine in abundance. I, as usual, wore some ludicrous shoes, this time gold goddess sandals with a 5in stiletto heel. Ouch. I lost track of the friends I chatted with (and also, possibly, of the wine I drank). But here's some photographic evidence of at least some of the people I met, courtesy of Phillipa Ashley.

EDIT: there will be some photographic evidence, just as soon as Blogger stops playing silly buggers and lets me upload a couple of pictures! Watch this space.

Now if you'll excuse me, I have to go and dunk my feet in cold water. What do you reckon are the odds of lying around all day with my feet up while handsome young men bring me peeled grapes, hmm?

Weather emergency

So I woke up this morning and it was raining. In one way, this is good: it means I won't have to water the garden. In another way, it's a disaster. Rain was not forecast for today. And yet it's raining. Rain has not been forecast for the RNA conference at the weekend. And yet will it rain?

I mean, none of my shoes are possible.

Why do I ever believe weather forecasts?

Good things

...if you like erotic romance: my novella Dawn Rising was released this week. Released, like a bird from a cage! It's the fourth and final installment in the Empire series, which has won awards and stuff. It tells the story of Edward, the prince who could overturn the Empire's despotic rule if only he can get his nerve back, and Callie, who has a very special talent that's key to the revolution--and a very cool way of unlocking it.



...if you have a Kindle: another novella of mine, but not an erotic one this time, will be available FREE from Amazon next week. The Twelve Lies of Christmas is a festive story about a spy and a con artist (because nothing says Christmas like espionage and confidence trickery) and prequels the Sophie Green series of mysteries.

...if you like shoes. My feet were pleased to play host to these on Thursday for the RNA's Winter Party. Pleased, and only a little bruised.

This week, I have been mostly...

...thinking about a new story, going to the RNA's summer party, and enjoying a blissful week without the Demon Puppy. Mum took her on holiday, you see, so she's been driving Southwoldians batty while I've been relaxing and enjoying the cats' happy bewilderment. They love a dog-free house.

The RNA party has been blogged about more extensively by Liz Fenwick, Nina Harrington and Janet Gover, who were all clever enough to take pictures. I wasn't, so I've just borrowed theirs.


Here's in Nina's picture you can see (l-r) agent Jonathan Pegg, yours truly, Liz Fenwick, Carole (sorry but I can't remember your last name!) and Nina Harrington. Yes, that's me lurking at the back with a nearly-empty wineglass. Is anybody surprised?

Janet, of course, had her sights aimed at everybody's shoes--and even her own paparazzo to take pictures. Here are my pink suede slingbacks--unusually demure, I think!--and Janet's own multi-coloured courts.


The shoe prize has to go to Julie Cohen, however, for her glittery gold confections.

Why are romantic novelists so obsessed with shoes?

A few of my favourite things

Daisy and shoes. Wednesday's shoes, actually. I don't think they'll fit her.


New shoes. I wanted these last week, but they didn't have my size. So I braved Saturday shopping crowds and a freezing cold wind and saw no less than three of my former teachers...but I got my shoes.

What you see there, incidentally, is what's under my bed: several heaps of books, a manuscript in a lever arch folder, and a big pink suitcase. It's full of shoes.

It's really difficult taking a picture of your own foot.

Shoes

Janet Gover has posted some pictures of the RNA party on her blog, including this one of somebody's shoes. There seemed to be quite a fuss about them. People kept walking up to the wearer and immediately looking down at her feet. Actually, the wearer didn't mind, because she still has impetigo on her face, and her feet are therefore much prettier.

I don't know why she's talking about herself in the third person, though.

My shoes

Since so much has been asked about them--I thought I'd post a picture of the cream and black brogues that got so much attention on Saturday at the conference. Although for some reason Blogger has decided to post the picture sideways. Picture me confused.

I was going to post something much more witty and insightful about the conference, but I'm a bit floopy this morning having handed over a large wodge of cash to my dentist to drill and fill a tooth. Consequently, the right side of my mouth, jaw and lip, are kind of numb and earlier I found myself chewing my own cheek instead of some cheese. I thought I'd cheer myself up by watching Scrubs and Greek, which should have been recording last night, but Sky+ has no memory of either of them. This is very annoying, since I can't find a repeats--not for Greek which was the repeat episode (tennis having taken precedence on Sunday), or Scrubs, which is on E4 where of course there's no room for anything, what with Big Brother chomping great putrid holes in the schedule.

Anyway. When I'm less grumpy I'll write some more about the conference, or at least about Crowded House at Thetford (the cause of my TV schedule interruption) last night!